Beloved of God

I've a long way to go, baby!

2012-01-22T17:41:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I made reference to the feminist movement of the 60's and 70's. One of the old Virginia Slim's commercials used the slogan: We've come a long way, baby! A great reminder to us women (baby) that things weren't what they used to be!

As I've been listening to the book of Job, I reached a point and my first thought: I've a long way to go, baby! Why? Job's response to the devastation of losing his sons, daughters, livestock and home. Did you know that after he tore his robe and shaved his head (a sign of mourning), he fell to the ground and worshiped? Rewind...he did what? He fell to the ground and worshiped! And, in his worship, he declared "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Okay, wait a minute. I want that. I want to know God like Job knew God so that no matter what devastation and loss comes my way my response is one of worship and one that blesses the name of God.

But wait a minute...as I listen on, Job's devastation doesn't stop there.
Next came sore boils.
Then came friends to sit in silence with him as his physical pain was very great.
They babbled on and on - convinced that Job needed to fess up and get right with God.

After about 10 chapters of listening to these so-called friends go on and on I found myself saying - enough already! Ah, but then God speaks...

Oh my! What God reveals about Himself in the midst of Job's pain, suffering and despair are some of the most incredible insights you'll ever find about God. I believe Job 38-41 are some of my favorite chapters in the Bible. At the beginning of Chapter 41, Job says:

...I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me. I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You; Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes. Job 42:1-6

God showed up and revealed Himself to Job in such a way that he "saw" God. In the midst of Job's physical and emotional pain, God spoke to Job and told him wonderful things he did not know. The visual picture that God painted for Job allowed him to "see" God in a fresh and deeper way. Look, see - God's power and might are seen in creation! He is everywhere, he sees everything - He knows everything. I love this one...

Then theLord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said, Who is this that darkens counsel By wordswithout knowledge? Now gird up your loins like a man, And I will ask you, and you instructMe! Wherewere you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you haveunderstanding, Who set its measurements? Since you know. Or who stretched the line on it? On what were itsbases sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone, When the morning stars sang together Andall the sons of God shouted for joy? Or who enclosed the sea with doors When, burstingforth, it went out from the womb; When I made a cloud its garment And thick darknessits swaddling band, And I placed boundaries on it And set a bolt and doors, And I said, ‘Thusfar you shall come, but no farther; And here shall your proud waves stop’?" Job 38:1-11

Alrighty then. I'm good - how about you? I've a long way to go...but God's compels me through His Word - keep going, come closer, look...see...worship!

Liar, liar - pants on fire!

2012-01-15T20:11:00.002-05:00

I entered womanhood during a time when every orthodoxy about what it meant to be a woman was being challenged. Yes, that would be the 60's and 70's. These messages felt right, spoke to my womanhood and soon I became convinced ... I am woman - hear me roar! I can do anything, I am strong, I am invincible - I am woman! If you have no first hand knowledge of these times, then let me just say that much of the way we act, think, do business and even legislate today is as a result of the 60's and 70's. Interesting isn't it? The 60's ushered in the second wave of the feminist movement and the messages during this time were radical! "I can bring home the bacon, I can fry it up in the pan and I can never, never let you forget your a man".(Enjoli commercial from the 70's).Seriously? Yes, seriously! I, me, moi - I decide what I want and when I want it. We've come a long way baby.(Virginia Slims commercial).

Liar, liar - pants on fire. You can't do it all or have it all. I know because I've experienced the exhaustion of trying to doing it all and shattered dreams from wanting it all.

Big Fat Lie #1? Women have the right to choose or decide to end the life of their baby by having an abortion. If we would just stop and really think this through we'd see this is a crazy notion. Think about it - how can it ever be right for someone to choose to kill? We've believed a lie and as a result "the choice" has been to end 54 million little lives.

Liar, liar - pants on fire. We were sold a lie. We were marketed. Just check out the above commercials. You don't believe me? I'm certain! You aren't? Okay! Check it out for yourself.. Read The Marketing of Evil and watch the below video. Let me know what you think and remember, God redeems and restores.

Note: The above photos were buttons were from the 60's and 70's.

Sticky Notes!

2012-01-09T19:17:00.000-05:00

My team-mate Tracy has a really cool feature on her computer called StickyNotes. I love it because I always need to remind myself to do something. Using real sticky notes can gettricky. Why? Because they really are sticky and somehowend up getting stuck on the back of something and well...there goes myreminder! Now, I just need to rememberto get that really cool sticky note feature for my computer..

As I was listening to the Bible this past week, God got my attention when He talked about reminders and remembering. He said:

“This is the sign of the covenantwhich I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is withyou, for all successive generations; I set My bowin the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and theearth.“It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over theearth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will rememberMy covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of allflesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. “When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it,to remember the everlasting covenantbetween God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” Genesis 9:12-16

The rainbow is a reminder toGod. Isn’t that interesting? Now, let me clarify that God does not forget and certainly doesn't need to be reminded of anything. But, He put the rainbow there as a reminder. It strikes me that the rainbow is a sticky note of sorts - A big, boldreminder! A sign and a reminder to God and to us of His faithfulness to His covenants or promises. It's also a reminder of the truth about what happened and why. Don't you just love this? God not only has recorded and preserved for us the truth about the "days of Noah" and the flood but in the account He also shares from His heart. I've been so deeply moved. Oh, you just have to listen to it

Oh yeah - remind me to tell you what I've learned about the Nephilim. Oh my!

Hogwash!

2012-01-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time when I was young (before I could read), my mother would read the Bible to me. She could never get too far because I couldn't get past "In the beginning." I would ask her over and over again (even after I could read) "in the beginning what?" Her answer was always straight from the Word of God - Genesis 1:1 to be exact: In the beginning God...

Commercial: You know, through all the twists, turns, bumps and bruises of life, I've needed to get past what God doesn't say in His Word so that I could focus on what He does say. And, boy oh boy does God have a lot to say. For years, I bought the lie that I couldn't understand God's Word or the lie that people actually have license to interpret the Word of God based on their understanding. Hogwash! I promise you that if you learn how to study the Bible inductively, you will understand what it says, what it means and how to live and order your life based on what it says and means! Now, how cool is that? End of commercial!

As I was listening to the January 1-2 ESV Chronological podcast and heard "In the beginning God...", I chuckled and stood in awe of God who wants to reveal Himself to me. Ephesians 1:3-6 says that before God ever spoke the world into existence (Genesis 1) He thought of me and planned for me. Seriously? Yes, seriously and that means all He did "in the beginning" - He did for US. Oh my goodness - He simply yet powerfully spoke and...

Separated the light from the darkness and the waters from the waters and dry land appeared. He spoke and...
The earth sprouted vegetation. He spoke and...
Lights appeared in the expanse of the heavens to separate day from night and as signs for seasons, days and years and to give light on the earth. He spoke...
Two great lights into existence - The great light governs the day and the lesser light governs the night. He spoke and...
There were fish and birds and cattle and every creeping thing!

But God formed and fashioned man and woman with His very own hands. Let me repeat myself - oh, my goodness! Can I share from my heart? We just need to get past what we think we know about God and sit down long enough to read and study what He does say so we can discover and understand it for ourselves. Please - oh please - let's don't miss the wonder of it all. The One who spoke the heavens, earth, stars, moon and sun into existence, knit us together in our mother's womb and knows us intimately (Psalm 139) and HE wants to have an intimate relationship with us! Nope,we do not want to miss this! let's go for it... Run!

True Confessions

2012-01-02T15:51:00.000-05:00

Confession: I have never read the Bible through in a year!

Truth: I have never even committed to read the Bible through in a year.

I know, I know - you are shocked, right? So as not to totally disappoint you, I can say that for years now I have been committed to studying the Bible through - inductively! But yesterday as I took time to get caught up on Facebook, I noted that so many people were committing to reading the Bible through during the next year and I wondered - "Am I missing something?" Look, I don't need one more thing to do and I sure don't need to add reading the Bible through in a year to my list if I'm only doing it so I can check if off as completed. (I have been known to turn my time with God into a task. Sad, but a true confession.) As I wondered before the Lord what to do, He brought to mind how much I enjoyed listening to His Word via The Bible Experience. (Thank you Pam Gillaspie.) Maybe...since I already spend my 45 minutes of getting ready to go to work time listening to praise music or Precept Upon Precept study lectures...I could listen through the Bible this year. Hey, great idea - thank you Lord and Crossway for your ESV Chronological daily podcasts! I started yesterday and already love the things God is speaking into my heart as I hear His Word. Now, will I keep it up?

Seriously? 145 Million Orphans Worldwide?

2011-08-21T15:27:00.003-04:00

"There are 145 Million Orphans in the World." There it was written across the big screen at church this morning. Big, bold, black letters: "There are 145 Million Orphans in the World". Immediately my heart cried out to God. Seriously Lord? And Tom and I couldn't find one child to adopt. As soon as that question was formed in my heart, truth spoke. Truth is...what's important is that God wants to adopt children into His family. Immediately, I remembered how God reminded me of this truth years ago and how it strengthened my heart. It also filled my heart with gratitude that He would let me be a part of "birthing" spiritual children (so to speak).

In the few minutes my heart was wrestling between longing and taking up truth, a video was being played encouraging us to provide shoes for orphans who have no shoes. Honestly, I've watched this plea year after year and I've walked by the shoe barrel at work numerous times. I've even admired the really cute tennis shoes sitting beside the barrel thinking how thrilled some young girl was going to be. But, it wasn't until this morning that God spoke into my heart - participate! I find it such a God thing that you can be watching and comprehending a video while at the same time have a significant conversation with God. Amazing isn't it? But, that's what was happening this morning. Yep! God was reminding me that He's longing to adopt children into His family and He reminded me of the delight I feel over a really cute pair shoes. So not spiritual I know but God used that reminder to stir within my heart a desire to provide some young girl with the same delight. The delight I feel over a really cute pair of shoes is nothing compared to the delight I have in knowing that God loves me, has adopted me into His family and promises not to leave me as an orphan but will come to me and has (John 14:18).

I couldn't wait to go shoe shopping today and Target did not disappoint! I believe with all of my heart that God will use these cute shoes to draw these precious girls to Himself so they can experience delight in knowing Him. They may not know that when they put on these cute shoes that they are getting a hug from God - but they are! And, I get to be a part of that hug. I have set these cute little shoes apart for God so the little feet that wear them will be standing on holy ground!

Wishing you a wonder filled Christmas

2010-12-19T17:28:00.006-05:00

This is one of my favorite Christmas scenes. I love how the room is so charming and inviting. In my mind, this represents a picture perfect Christmas atmosphere. Look, it's even snowing outside! The decorations are beautiful, the fire crackling, candles burning, decorated packages. In my dreamer mind, I envision mother, father, children and spouses and grandchildren in the kitchen and dining room laughing and enjoying each other.

Perfect lives, perfect house, perfect Christmas. Even the dog is perfect!

Soon they will be coming into this room where they will open the Bible, read the Christmas story, sing Silent Night, sip eggnog, open gifts and then play games. Surely, the wonder of Christmas is found in such a scene of perfection! Now, this is what Christmas should be like - right?

I long for...what - perfection? Well, that would just be perfect - wouldn't it? I've experienced some perfect moments in time. Priceless and treasured moments held dear in my heart. But they were fleeting and while grateful, I still have this longing...for what? Picture perfect?

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him. Ecclesiastes 3:11-14

God has put eternity in our hearts. Isn't that the most amazing truth? I long for eternity! Where God Himself will be with us and He will wipe away every tear and there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (Revelation 21:3-4). Oh yes, there is a longing for eternity in my heart. But, those perfect moments here - where we experience happiness or satisfaction - these are gifts from God! And, we stand in awe and wonder! Oh, the wonder of God of our gift giving God. And His greatest gift to us?

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Oh, the wonder of our gift giving God! Wonder is such a great word. It means...

· An intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking
· An illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure
· Revealing scene or moment

My prayer for us this Christmas is that God will grant us a simple yet striking grasp of the reality of who He is and what He has done. That in the hearing or reading of His Word we will have an new and fresh illuminating discovery and realization of Jesus as Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. I pray that in the gathering with friends and family, while waiting in line or in traffic, while dealing with cranky shoppers, friends or family or while experiencing perfect moments in time - that in ALL these moments we remember our gift giving God and are filled with awe and wonder.

Wishing you a wonder filled Christmas!

The 10 "C's" from Nehemiah (Part 8)

2010-07-18T18:49:00.006-04:00

Oh my - just realized I haven't blogged since March! So what's up with that? Well, I don't wake up every day wondering what I can write! If there is something brewing within me it's because God has taught me something and is showing me something and I just can't help but "babble" about it. I've been learning a lot since March. So much so my brain hurts, but haven't even known how to babble about it! When I read what I wrote in March I realized I've actually been living in the midst of the 3rd, 4th and 5th "C." I am learning SO much! Let me babble...

I lived every day for 10 years serving in a ministry I KNEW I was called to and committed wholeheartedly. God taught me the lessons of the "C's" and they became an awesome leadership manual of sorts. After God called me out of that ministry and moved us to Tennessee, I sought to understand what good work God might be calling me to participate in here. I'd been assigned to a team working on a new initiative and spent months listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand how to launch a new initiative. I'm already passionate and committed to the mission of this ministry - establishing people in God's Word and from the get go, I was passionate about the goal of the this new ministry initiative. After MUCH prayer, I believed God was calling me to this area of the ministry and so I committed to Him, to the Director of this initiative and to the team that had been enlisted to develop it. For over a year, we have been developing and planning for the launch. This time reminds me of 4 months Nehemiah spent between Chapter 1 and 2. How do I know Nehemiah was planning? Because when the King asked him in Chapter 2 what he needed, Nehemiah had a list of things he needed in order to accomplish what God was putting on his heart to do - and it was a well thought out list!

4th "C" - Casting the vision
During the last year, I've realized in a very fresh and real way that casting the vision for a new initiative is HARD! While you ARE trying to paint a picture of a preferable future, it's still a "concept" of sorts. Getting or allowing others to "see" it can be challenging. Therefore, taking the necessary time to gain clarity of God's vision is of vital importance. That means taking time to listen to God, pray and seek God, wait, listen to others, ask questions, pray and seek God, wait. What I've experienced is that during these times God will make His vision for the work He is entrusting to us so real that it becomes a part of us. His calling compels us to commit wholeheartedly, His vision propels us and fuels us. By that I mean, His vision becomes so clear and so real that we can talk about it and describe it as though it's realized! This seeing it with such clarity is what gives us that pit bull determination needed to help others see and realize it. That's what I mean by casting the vision. For normal, regular people like me - casting God's vision - getting what's in our hearts down on to paper in a way that is clear, compelling, inspiring and gives good direction is not natural or easy. Add to it the fact that what we are trying to "cast" is of God and we better be taking time to make sure we see it through God's eyes and can clearly communicate it in a way that is God-inspired!

My personal experience has been that committing to God's call is all or nothing. It will take all we have and everything God can give. It is HARD work that will be met with many obstacles. But, when we take time to gain clarity of God's vision, and the time needed to learn how to cast and communicate that vision, it will become such a part of us that we ache for it. We will long for it in such a way that no matter what comes at us and no matter how bad we might want to give up and go be beach bums - we can't....we just can't. As we cast God's vision, He will call others to join their hand to His work and together we will realize "a preferable future imparted by God:" A real dream team!

Next time: 5th "C" - Commissioning others!

The 10 "C's" from Nehemiah (Part 7)

2010-03-14T17:44:00.002-04:00

3rd "C" - CLARITY of Vision

Chapter 1 of Nehemiah tells us that when Nehemiah heard the report about the condition of people and city of God he wept, mourned, fasted and prayed for days. Oh how I love Nehemiah's prayer recorded in Chapter 1. He beseeches the God of Heaven, the great and awesome God, the God who keeps His Word (covenant). He knows his God and the promises of God. Yep...I love it!

After Nehemiah confesses they have acted corruptly against God, he reminds God of Who He is and of His promises! Then, Nehemiah beseeches God again and his prayer reveals something VERY interesting. Nehemiah says this:

"make Your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man." Nehemiah 1:11(b)

Why was Nehemiah asking for success? Well, Nehemiah 2: tell us:
-Nehemiah asked the king to send him to Jerusalem to rebuild the city. (2:5)
-I did not tell anyone what my God was putting into my mind (heart) to do for Jerusalem. (2:12)

In the midst of Nehemiah's weeping, mourning, fasting and praying, God began to give Nehemiah a vision. Do you see it? Rebuild the city (not just the wall) and do for Jerusalem! Remember, Nehemiah was 600 miles away and a cup bearer to the king. Pretty awesome, huh?

In his book, Turning Vision Into Action, George Barna says this about vision:

“Vision for ministry is a clear mental image of a preferable future imparted by God to His chosen servants and is based upon accurate understanding of God, self, and circumstances.”

Nehemiah had a clear mental image of a preferable future imparted by God: Rebuild the city...do for Jerusalem! Don't miss the fact that he had to wait for God to make a way for this vision to be realized (accurate understanding of God, self, and circumstances). As shared in Part 6, I think he spend that waiting time envisioning and planning because when God opened the door of opportunity, Nehemiah knew exactly what he needed AND asked for it!

Nehemiah with letters from the king and escorted by officers of the kings army and horseman, headed to Jerusalem with the timber needed to rebuild the gates. When this news reached Sanballat and Tobiah, "it was very displeasing to them that someone had come to seek the welfare of the sons of Israel." I'm reading between the lines, but I imagine the city was all abuzz about the news Nehemiah was coming to seek the welfare of the sons of Israel! How exciting. But God tells us that he was there for 3 days then he arose in the middle of the night to go and take a good look but no one knew where he had gone or what he was doing. Such wisdom in waiting.

There is no doubt to me that Nehemiah had God's vision for Jerusalem before he had opportunity to ask of the king or arrived in Jerusalem. But, before Nehemiah cast that vision to others, he took time to assess the work. In doing so, he gained CLARITY of vision.

God calls people to lead forward! Remember - "ministry is a labor needed for others; labor that benefits others with the goal being to build up or edify others, glorify God and requires supernatural ability.” The labor that benefits and builds up others, glorifies God and requires supernatural ability is specific. That's vision - "a clear mental image of a preferable future impacted by God to His chosen servants and is based on an accurate understanding of God, self and circumstances." Nehemiah's example says take the time to plan what you'll need to realize the vision. AND, when God opens the door of opportunity, take some more time to get up close and personally assess the extent of the work that will be required in order to realize the vision! It's one thing to have a work or God-given vision in your heart. It's totally another to see the extent of the work. You know what I'm saying? Another good reason to COMMIT to the call and to the work BEFORE God ever opens the door of opportunity. Amen?

Next time: 4th "C" - Casting the Vision

The 10 "C's" of Nehemiah (Part 6)

2010-02-09T19:23:00.009-05:00

2nd "C" - COMMITTED to the call!

Remember how brokenhearted Nehemiah was when he heard about the condition of the Jerusalem and of the Jews living there? I'm always deeply touched as I read the verses that describe the depth of Nehemiah's emotion. He sat and mourn, wept, fasted and prayed...for days! God was breaking Nehemiah's heart over their condition AND God was putting within Nehemiah's heart something to DO about it! Go to Jerusalem and rebuild the wall. WOW! Nehemiah's prayer in Chapter 1 is awesome and I love how he ends with some VERY specific requests. To the human mind, it makes no sense. It sounds crazy doesn't it? After all, what could Nehemiah do about it? He was a cup bearer to the king and some 600 miles away from the problem.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been deeply burdened about something? Maybe you couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe you even wept about it, found yourself talking to God about it and maybe even thinking about what you might do or could do. But then thought - "This is crazy!" "What can I do about it?" So, you did nothing...

Nehemiah KNEW that His God was great and awesome and Nehemiah committed to the call of God to lead forward! God called Nehemiah to DO something - rebuild the wall! WOW - that's huge AND Nehemiah committed to that call! Think about it - only a great and awesome God could make a way for a cup bearer of a king, some 600 miles away! But, Nehemiah beseeched the God of Heaven, he asked God to help him DO what God was putting on his heart to do ... and then He waited for God to make a way!

Ah, waiting on God. Waiting can make us waiver in our commitment. But not Nehemiah. While Nehemiah waited he planned. I say this because of Nehemiah 2:4. When the king asks Nehemiah what he would request - Nehemiah had a list! This is not the kind of list you make up as you go but this is a list born out of prayer and planning.

God has work for each one of us to do - He's calling us to DO something for others on HIS behalf. In our human minds, it seems impossible or sounds crazy! Beseech the God of heaven, ask Him for what you'll need to accomplish the work and then wait for God to make a way. As we wait - let's not waiver in our commitment! Let's pray and plan so that when God makes the way we are as prepared and ready as was Nehemiah!

If we are going to accomplish the work that God has prepared for us to do, we must remember the enemy wants to disturb us (to move our mind concerning our faith and the work to which God has prepared for us to do). See the 10 "C's" of Nehemiah (Part 2)

We must not lose our focus! We cannot forget why we are doing what we are doing! Or, lose sight of what God is putting on our hearts to do on His behalf. Rising to the call of leadership means absolute unwavering commitment to God and to His call or what He is putting on your heart to do for Him. Oh, we don't want to miss it - we really don't. So, let's press in, press on, pray forward!

Next time: 3rd "C" - CLARITY of Vision

The 10 "C's" from Nehemiah (Part 5)

2010-01-17T16:18:00.004-05:00

In this moment, I stand once again amazed at God! Let me explain...

I started these blog posts on the 10 "C's" during the summer of 2009. But, these past months have kept me busy learning a new job, having a long distance relationship with my husband, caring for my 89 year old legally blind father who lives with us and oh yeah...packing, moving, unpacking and celebrating the holidays. Whew! So often I've wondered if I'd ever get to finish these posts on the 10 "C's." I mean I was posting them for my girls you know. (I am sure I just heard God chuckle! )

So, here's where I am in my life. We've been attending a church where the pastors have been teaching out of Nehemiah and I've also been doing some editing of Leading Forward, a biblical leadership training tool based on the book of Nehemiah. Anyway, it's been exciting to be back in a book that God has used so mightily in my life! And maybe - just maybe...all this means I could blog a thought or two! So, where did I leave off anyway? Imagine my surprise a few minutes ago to find I only shared the first "C" - called by God. Geez, a lot of help I've been to my girls!

Just like God to work in our lives like this...

You see this morning, Tom, daddy and I went to early church and then we walked daddy to his new Sunday School class. Instead of attending Sunday School, Tom and I decided to go to Starbucks for coffee because I've been really struggling and I wanted him to help me reason through and sort out my thoughts! My struggle? If I am being called to my current place of service.

There is a particular place that God has me right now in ministry that on some days, I think I'm right where He wants me. On these days, I think I'm called and that the last decade of experiences has prepared me for just this moment. You see, for the last 10 years, I was in totally over my head. BUT, I knew that I knew that I knew, I was called by God to the work. The work was hard, difficult and much of the time - not fun WORK. While I had some skills and abilities to do some of the work - most of it was impossible. Why do I say impossible? Because what God was calling me be a part of doing or accomplishing was a supernatural work. He would do the impossible and He would send others to help but the work would required everything I had physically, mentally and spiritually...and then some. So, it meant being on my face before the One who called me, getting up and waiting for His power - that same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead - to get the work done through me. And, He did it. In that time and place, I knew He had called me to that work and I was fully committed.

Re-reading my last blog entry means so much to me because where I am today is on the same edge of impossible. I look at the amount of work and the kind of work required and you know what I see? Hard. Difficult. Most of it not fun work. I see an obstacle course, pit falls and oh yeah...a lack of resources. I know there are others more capable than me that can get the job done. So, for someone like me to accomplish this kind of work means being called by God and then fully committing to that call AND to the work. I mean why would I choose another 10 years (or whatever) of hard, difficult, not fun, in over my head, humanly impossible WORK? Uh, vacation and/or retirement would be my fleshly choice!

But, I know by personal experience that there is nothing better than waking up every morning knowing that you are doing what God has called you to do. Don't get me wrong - it's doesn't mean it's easy or even that it's fun. So how will I know, how do I know if God is calling me to this next task...this next edge of impossible? For several weeks now, I've been asking God to show me. Affirm or confirm Lord so I'll know that I know, can commit and get on with the tasks at hand. Otherwise Lord, why choose this level of hard? As I'm processing with my fingers here, I'm thinking I do know He's called me. I'm still going to keep asking Him to affirm and confirm, but I know what He's stirred up in my heart. I also know what He's had me doing the last 10 years of my life and how it fits with now and the impossible now in view.

After sorting through my thoughts, talking to Tom, reading the last blog post....I wonder if it has more to do with "C" number 2 (commitment) than "C" number 1 (calling)? You know what? I'm tired. It's been a long year. Truthfully...it's been a long decade! I also know that once you commit to God's call - there is NO turning back. To stop the work before God calls you out is NOT an option. This new impossible task? I want it to happen. I believe in it. I'm actually passionate about the work and what I see God wanting to accomplish. So, I stand by my own words posted in the last blog. If I am being called by God then my choices are:

1. Commit
2. Close my eyes, ears, heart, mind

My, my, my - how time flys!

2009-10-04T19:15:00.005-04:00

Wow, it's October already and I haven't had time to post a blog since August? Sad - but true! Now, I'm in the middle of sorting, pitching and packing and who know when I'll be able to finish the 10 C's of Nehemiah. Why am I not surprised? I just think I have something to share now from Nehemiah, but just wait until after the move! So, just in case you were following along - don't give up on me. God isn't finished yet! I'm just a bit sidetracked with the move to Chattanooga.

Today was a VERY emotional day for me. I shouldn't be surprised and yet I am. My niece (Lisa) who lives in Jersey and has worked with Tom for the past 18 years (or so) came out today - with her friend Stacy. I realized when I hugged her goodbye that it was a goodbye of sorts. No longer will she just be one state away but many states away. We went through some of my parents things in the basement and she took a few "keepsakes." Most precious was that she took my mother's rings. Oh what a story - my mother's rings. My mother.... On her 25th wedding anniversary my daddy gave her a beautiful solitaire diamond. Many years later, she would add a diamond right next to it so that her girls would each have one! Neither of her girls had their mother's tiny fingers and also could not bear to cut the ring in half. But the ring fits Lisa perfectly and today it came out of the box and she wore it home. Together with the band, another band of diamonds and a diamond cluster ring. All of which my mother wore all the time. Oh it was so precious to see her sitting there with my mother's rings on her pretty little hands. I was surprised at the DEPTH joy it brought my heart.

But, when I went to hug Lisa goodbye I just didn't want to let her go. I wanted to breathe her in. As I stood there holding her, I regretted all the moments I had not seized with her. Oh, why didn't I seize those moments? Forgive me Lisa for not seizing the moments. I love her and I am so proud of her. How I pray that in the depths of her soul she KNOWS that she is loved, appreciated, admired and always in my thoughts and prayers. It was SO precious for Stacy to come out today with Lisa. She is such a dear friend to Lisa and holds a very special place in our hearts too. I love these beautiful women and I will miss them terribly. Oh, I know I didn't get to see them all that often but I knew I could and now...well...hopefully they really will visit us in Chattanooga. I will not give up hope....

Lisa - I love you.

the 10 "C's" from Nehemiah (Part 4)

2009-08-16T06:50:00.006-04:00

I started this series of blog posts because I had great concern for my "girls." The precious women who will be leading the ministries of Truth for Women forward. You see, I know the work is going to be impossible apart from God and on top of all the hard work, trials, testings ... affliction of all kinds are and will come ... from every direction. I know the enemy wants to use all these afflictions to rock their faith, disturb their faith, side track and shipwreck their faith and need I go on? I KNOW from experience the Word of God is TRUTH and that the 10 C's" from Nehemiah will strengthen and encourage their faith and mine!

1st "C" - CALLED by God

In the last blog post (Part 3), there were lots of observation questions as there is SO much to see in Nehemiah 1 and 2. Isn't carefully observing God's Word the best?

God, true to His Word, judged His people. Because they had forsaken Him and followed after the nations, God brought the nations against them. The city of Jerusalem and temple destroyed and the people of God enslaved. Under Ezra's leadership, the temple in Jerusalem had been completed some 76 year earlier but the walls of the city broken down, the gates burned by fire and people of God there in the city were in great distress (1:3).

The depth of Nehemiah's emotion when he heard this news really grabs me. He shares that he "sat down and wept and mourned for days; and was fasting and praying before the God of heaven." I mean think about - when was the last time you sat down and wept AND mourned for days? Nehemiah didn't stop with weeping and morning. He was so torn up and burdened he added fasting and praying before God. Really interesting to me is that Nehemiah was in Susa - some 600 miles from Jerusalem. The distance didn't matter. God got a hold of Nehemiah's heart and it brought Nehemiah to his knees.

In 2:12, Nehemiah says God was putting into his mind (heart) something to do for Jerusalem. Isn't that awesome? God, the One who spoke the world into existence, Who needs no one and no thing - puts in our hearts and in our minds things to do for HIM. Nehemiah was "called" by God to do something on behalf of God for the people of God. That something was to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. Bill Hybels in his book "Holy Discontent" calls these moments "Popeye Moments." That's right Popeye moments! God opens your eyes and your heart to something and the burden so great ... you "can't stands it, can't stands it, can't stands it no more."

Have you looked around lately at the condition of God's people? How many of God's people are in great distress due to their sin or the sin of others? What about our churches, communities and nation? Where are the Nehemiah's of our time? You know, sometimes God breaks our hearts with the distress we see and the emotion of it all takes us back. Sometimes it's just too much to bear and so we push the emotion aside. Sometimes we allow ourselves to grieve and as we do God begins to put something on our hearts to do. But because it seems so totally IMPOSSIBLE, we push those thoughts aside. The fact is though, God CALLS people to do things for HIM. These are things that only HE can make happen through His supernatural ability but at the same time these things or tasks require everything we've got. When God calls, we have 2 choices:

1. Commit
2. Close our eyes, ears, hearts and minds

Nehemiah is a great example of how a CALL from God "looks"! God opens our eyes, breaks and burdens our hearts and then puts in our minds something to do (way to help). I don't think we get our minds around the fact that God chooses to include us in on His plans and the work He wants to accomplish. We all get the fact that God doesn't need us and I sure don't get why God would even want to include me in on anything He wants to do. But, the TRUTH, is before He spoke the world into existence, He thought of you and me and He PLANNED things for us to do (Eph. 2:10). Good works that glorify HIM.

We need to understand what it means and looks like to be called by God to do something because when God calls we must commit! There is NOTHING better than waking up every morning knowing that we are doing what God has called us to do. The Creator of the Universe working in and through - WOW. This is why we exist and we don't want to miss what God has planned for us. We really, really don't. To experience God's call upon our lives, we have to allow God to open our eyes, ears, hearts and minds. We need to remember that when we open our eyes, ears and hearts that weeping and mourning will come as will the need to seriously seek God's face. We also need to be prepared because what God will put on our minds to do for HIM will be impossible apart from HIM. We'll shake our heads, be tempted to shrink back and want to slough it off as no way - impossible. We must not do this. We must seek God with everything we've got. Then, we must commit.

Next time - 2nd "C" - COMMITTED to the call

The 10 C's from Nehemiah (Part 3)

2009-07-16T18:59:00.002-04:00

Ephesians 2:10 says..."we are His (God) workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." It is absolutely mind boggling to think that God wants us to do anything for Him. Yet, before He spoke the world into existence, He planned work for us to do - for HIM. Work that is done on His behalf, in His name, for His glory and in His power. This kind of work is better known as ministry! Work = ministry. Ministry = work. I think George Barna's definition of ministry perfectly defines the kind of work God is speaking of in Ephesians 2:10. He says:

"Ministry is a labor needed for others; labor that benefits others with the goal being to build up or edify others, glorify God and requires supernatural ability.”

The goal of all our ministry = labor = work as Christian wives, mothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, employees or employer (and so on) is to build up or edify others and glorify God. Let me repeat myself! God has entrusted each one of us with ministry or work to do for others on HIS behalf. Mind boggling!

The work entrusted to each one of us great and extensive. In fact, apart from God it is impossible. And don't forget, at the same time we are working/laboring, affliction will come at us from EVERY direction and in every area of our lives because. We are destined for affliction (1 Thess. 3:1-3 - see Part 2). If we are going to accomplish the work that God has prepared for us to do, we must remember the enemy wants to use these afflictions to Disturb us (to move our mind concerning our faith and the work to which God has prepared for us to do). Do you ever lose your focus? Forget why you are doing all the doing? Lose sight of the goal? Boy, I know I do. Honestly, I think there have been times when I didn't even know there was a goal.

"Busyness is no guarantee of productivity, faithfulness, or fruitfulness." CJ Mahaney

Listen, if we are going to stand firm until Jesus comes again....if we are going to accomplish the ministry = labor = work God has prepared for us to do - we need to remember the goal AND we need to remind each other that we've been called by God to do this work! This is our 1st "C" from Nehemiah.

1st "C" - CALLED by God

Read Nehemiah 1 and 2. While you read, watch for answers to the following questions:

-Where is Nehemiah?
-Who does Nehemiah ask about?
-What month and year was it when Nehemiah asked?
-Where are the people Nehemiah asks about?
-What is their condition and the condition of their community?
-Why are they in this condition?
-What kind of emotional, physical and spiritual impact did this news have on Nehemiah?
-How does Nehemiah deal with the news or what does Nehemiah do as a result of the news?
-Who is Nehemiah and how does he describe himself?
-When Chapter 2 opens, what month and year was it?
-What is Nehemiah doing?
-What does the king ask Nehemiah?
-What "work" does Nehemiah tell the king he wants to do?
-How does the king respond and what does Nehemiah do next?
-What does Nehemiah do when he gets to Jerusalem?
-What does he say to the people there and how do they respond?
-What happens next?
-How does Nehemiah respond to what happens?
-According, to 2:12, what does Nehemiah say God did concerning his mind (or heart)?
-What did God put into the mind (or heart) of Nehemiah to do (work) for Jerusalem?
-According 2:16, who were some of the folks in Jerusalem when Nehemiah got there?

I'm eager to encourage you with the truths from Nehemiah 1 and 2. I KNOW they will strengthen your faith. But, I don't want to rob you of the joy of discovery! See you next time - Part 4!

10 C's from Nehemiah (Part 2)

2009-07-10T06:11:00.008-04:00

In my last post, I shared that I wanted the precious women who will lead Truth for Women forward to know that my concern for them is great. The truth is, the work that God puts on our hearts to do for Him is impossible apart from Him. Or to put it in "Nehemiah" terms - the work is great and extensive! In order to accomplish a work of God - it will come at great personal cost and sacrifice.

Maybe it's because I am leaving women and a work I love, but as I've been studying 1 Thessalonians, I've been taken back by the depth of emotion Paul expressed toward the believers there. He really loved them. He "ached" to know how they were doing! He describes his tender affection for them as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. What a visual. He says he had so fond an affection for them that he not only imparted the gospel but his own life and they had become very dear to him. WOW. No wonder he ached and longed for news about how they were doing. As I read and studied this book, the spiritual mother in me was totally tracking with Paul's emotions. I was thinking about how I feel about my "girls." How much I love them and how deeply concerned I am for their spiritual health and for the spiritual health of this community.

The work that God called Paul to accomplish was great and extensive and it came at great personal cost and sacrifice. Paul knew that to follow hard after Christ would cost him everything he once held held dear. He also knew this would be true for every follower of Christ. This is what Paul says in 1 Thess. 3:1-3,5:

Therefore when we could endure it no longer, we thought it best to be left behind at Athens alone, and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s fellow worker in the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith, so that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this.... For this reason, when I could endure it no longer, I also sent to find out about your faith, for fear that the tempter might have tempted you, and our labor would be in vain.

A couple of Greek word studies later and this is what I learned:

Disturbed = to move (the mind of one); to agitate, disturb, trouble.
Afflictions = a pressing, pressing together, pressure; oppression, affliction, tribulation, distress, straits.

Paul knew they were destined to get squeezed! No question about it. He would be - they would be - we will be afflicted, pressed, under pressure, oppressed, tried, distressed and in straits. But Paul didn't want them to be moved in their mind or disturbed by these afflictions. Boy can I relate to that. How many times have my afflictions moved me in my mind? All of a sudden I forget who I am (in Christ), where I am (in the world) and act as though some strange thing was happening to me (1 Peter 4:12) rather than remembering that I too am destined for affliction. Paul's concern wasn't for their affliction. Paul's concern was for their faith. Paul knew they needed to stand firm until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I don't know about you, but that really got my attention. As a good spiritual daddy, Paul knew that in order to "keep the faith," they needed the kind of encouragement that would strengthen their faith!

Because I love my "girls" I have great concern for them, their faith and their work of ministry. I am concerned that their faith walk and their work of faith will become so difficult for them that they will be moved in their mind and unable stand firm until the end. Because I know they are destined for affliction... Because I know the work God is calling them to is great and extensive... Because I know in order to accomplish the work God has prepared for them to do will be at great personal cost and sacrifice... Because I love them so, I wanted to encourage them in a way that would strengthen their faith. I'm leaving and will no longer be around so how can I do that? I will give to them, what God gave to me... The 10 C's from Nehemiah.

10 C's from Nehemiah

2009-07-05T17:07:00.002-04:00

I had the fun and joy this past week of being with my special "girls" from Truth for Women (TFW). While I'm no longer called by God to serve in the day to day workings of this ministry, it is still a huge part of my heart and heartbeat. Kim (who now heads up the ministries of TFW) and I were talking a few months back and she asked me if I wanted to come and share truths from Nehemiah. We could make it an official passing of the baton or in this case - truth! You see, in the very beginning of TFW, God had given the book of Nehemiah as our guide book for ministry and leadership. So, you bet'cha I wanted to go and share.

I am not all a writer. But, I do process using words! As God was putting the work of TFW on my heart and teaching me truths from Nehemiah, I started processing them on paper. Later, it turned into a Bible study training for anyone wanting to join the leadership of TFW. Recently, at Kim's request, I've been updating and revising it so she can begin offering it to those who will come along side her and behind her! I call the Bible study training "Leading Forward" believing it will give leaders the basic tools they will need to do just that! There is nothing better than discovering truth for yourself and as I sat before the Lord with the book of Nehemiah, what I discovered were 10 vital C's! So, with "Leading Forward" and the 10 C's fresh on my mind, I sat before the Lord to see what He would have me share with my "girls" as a final charge.

Revelation 12:12(b) says “Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time.” From what I know that's happening in my own world and what I see going on in the lives of those around me, the intensity of life has been kicked up more than a few notches. The trials are for sure new and various and are coming faster and more furious. Amen? And, this is why I've decided to blog what God put on my heart and what I shared this past Tuesday night with the leaders, employees and volunteers of TFW.

I started off the evening by asking them if at any time during this past year they (or those that serve with them) had:

-Become overwhelmed or discouraged either personally or in your work of service? (Examples: Nehemiah 6:9; 1 Corinthians 15:32); 2 Corinthians 1:8-11)
-Been offended against or faced great opposition? (Examples: Nehemiah 4:5; 1 Thess. 2:2
-Been disturbed by the things others were saying or by the things they were thinking? (Example: Nehemiah 4:8-7)
-Become overly burdened, weary and their strength failing? (Examples: Nehemiah 4:10; 2 Corinthians 1:8-11)
-Become fearful? (Examples: Nehemiah 4:14; 1 Corinthians 2:1-5)
-Been or felt isolated or separated? (Examples: Nehemiah 4:20; Acts 17)

I wanted these precious women to know that my concern for them was and is GREAT. YOU see I am entrusting something to them that God entrusted to me. What God is calling them to do is a great and extensive work. In order to accomplish this specific work here in the Lehigh Valley – it will come at great personal cost and sacrifice to these women. Any time God puts it in the heart of someone to do something for Him - it will be a great and extensive work and it will come at great personal cost and sacrifice.

Because I love them - I have great concern for them, their faith and their work of ministry. I am concerned that their faith walk and their work of faith will become so difficult for them that they will not be able stand firm until the end.

Why my great concern? That's another blog entry!

Next time I'll share with you what I learned from studying 1 Thessalonians (Standing Firm in the Last Days). Which by the way I did online and in a chat room. Go figure. Thank you Miss Alison. By the way - she has several new studies starting so check it out and give it a try! Here's the website: http://ccwavus.ning.com/. One night I attended in my pajamas!

There is rest, then there is rest!

2009-06-28T14:41:00.001-04:00

I just observed that the word "rest" occurs 10 times in the book of Hebrews! 8 times in Chapter 4. So guess what Chapter 4 of Hebrews is all about? REST! But, it's not the kind of rest as defined by Websters Dictionary (a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities; freedom from activity or labor; a state of motionlessness or inactivity).

Nope, Hebrews 4 isn't talking about that kind of rest at all. It's talking about HIS rest. This has been very interesting...

"Therefore, let us fear if, while a promise remains of entering His rest, any one of you may seem to have come short of it. For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; but the word they heard did not profit them, because it was not united by faith in those who heard. For we who have believed enter that rest...." Hebrews 4:1-3(a)

"For those who believe enter that rest." Glory be! That TRUTH refreshes me. Spiritually speaking. I mean in my spirit, it's like getting 8 hours of uninterrupted, restorative sleep! (HA - like I can actually remember what that's like...)

Now, I haven't studying all this in-depth, but I think Hebrews 4:1-3 is saying the same thing Romans 10:9-17 says. The gospel was preached to me, I heard it and what I heard, I believed in my heart. At that moment, I entered HIS rest - His finished work. At that precious moment, I understood my need to rest from all my self efforts.

What a precious reminder. But wait, Hebrews 4:11 then says I'm to be diligent to enter that rest (Hebrews 4:11). Wait a minute.... Is it just me or does it seem like an oxymoron to say be diligent to enter rest. Do those two really go together?

I don't know...I've had to dig a little deeper on this one. I'm pretty sure the rest being spoken of in Hebrews is NOT the Webster's Dictionary kind of REST (a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities; freedom from activity or labor; a state of motionlessness or inactivity). I'm to be diligent (to endeavor and exert myself) to enter HIS rest! Ah, the beauty of studying Scripture....

I'm to be diligent to rest in the finished work of Christ and cease from all my self efforts. Ah.....I rest in the finished work of Christ and the promise there will come a day...

Blah, blah, blah

2009-06-11T14:13:00.002-04:00

Well, I haven't had time to blog in a while. Lot's of blog moments but no time to process through my thoughts. Boy, it's been an interesting time. I continue to be in a learning curve in my new job. I'm learning things I didn't even know I needed to know...or for that matter wanted to know. For instance, I'm about to join a webinar. Who even knew they had webinars. Or that I would be interested in attending one called "Facebooks for Nonprofits." Thank God there are webinars because connecting via the internet is my only way to connect these days. Monday, I joined a meeting with my fellow Precept workers. There were 16 of us. 15 were all gathered in a room there at the ministry brainstorming and I was sitting in my office here in PA staring at my computer and listening to them....for 4 hours. I wrestled with God during the 1st hour and then spent the last 3 prayerfully listening and observing. It's an interesting place the Lord has me these days...

I have all these words to use but God's put me in a place of listening and observing. Wondering what to do with all my words, I just received the below. Thanks BJ - I needed this. It's entitled "Are all women born this way"? To which I say YES!

My God, My God

2009-05-21T23:21:00.004-04:00

Lord, I Want To Know You and Romans Part 3 (Precept Upon Precept) - both by Kay Arthur have been life changing Bible studies for me. Why? Because I learned about God's character and attributes and His Old Testament names. Awesome, awesome truths. Standing on these truths, clinging to these truths, taking up these truths and using them to remind me of what is true....has caused me to EXPERIENCE Who God says He is. As a kid, a teen, and even a 20 and 30 something, I knew God's Word said He was trustworthy, but I had not experienced His trustworthiness in my own life in such a way that I knew God had really and truly come through for me or in such a way that I was utterly SECURE in that truth. Meaning that no matter what came at me, I knew that I knew God would come through for me. I knew that God was always present, but I had never personally experienced His presence in my life in such a way that I was deeply comforted and satisfied in His presence. Do you know what I'm saying?

I've heard Kay speak the Hebrew names of God. So beautiful and so loving His names because of WHO and what the names represent, I've wanted to memorize them. So, for years and years, I've tried. I have them in a picture frame in my bathroom and every morning I look at them, say them and walk away unable to pronounce/repeat them. I also have His names on the wall in front of my desk. Not only is God always present, but His names are before me a LOT. Still, I cannot repeat them to you. This is totally frustrating. BUT....

I KNOW His names. I mean I know experientially that God provides, is faithful, sees, sanctifies, heals... If you don't already know this - experiencing WHO God is - that's a LOT different than just knowing His names intellectually. My God, My God...I stand in awe of YOU!

Longing for my children...

2009-05-08T06:47:00.006-04:00

Have you ever longed for children? I have. I never, ever imagined NOT having children. I don't wish that kind of longing, waiting, hoping, trying on anyone. When Tom and I got our minds around the fact that we wouldn't be able to have our own babies, we turned to adoption. The problem was that abortion had been legalized and so putting your baby up for adoption no longer the first option for so many. In those days, the waiting list for a baby was 6 years AND if one of you turned 40 during that 6 year period, you could not get on a list. Since Tom and I couldn't get on "the list" we fixed our minds on private adoption. That meant telling everyone you knew to tell everyone they knew that Tom and Sally Hall wanted to adopt a baby!

One April day, our pastor got a call from another pastor and it seemed there was a young Christian couple, from Christian families who had made a mistake and were looking for a Christian home for their baby. OH, what a glorious day that was! Our dream of having children was going to come true and we would not have to suffer one more day of that longing, emptiness and shame....yes shame. The months that followed were filled with anticipation. Me, I give myself totally over to everything. Tom, bless his heart, tried to hold me back for my own good! He kept encouraging me not to decorate the baby's room and buy furniture because "anything could happen." Well, of course nothing was going to happen. This was a dream come true and life just couldn't be that cruel. Somewhere during the social services home study that had to be done, contacting of attorneys and all the other preparations necessary for adoption, we began to think of the baby as a girl. In fact - against Tom's better judgment - we named her....Hannah Jo. Well, from that moment on, I began to visualize Hannah' Jo's life and our life with Hannah Jo. About a month before she was to arrive, of course I broke down and bought her some clothes. I mean if she came early we'd have to have clothing for her and for the plane ride bringing her home! And, she would need a bed. Shortly after the few cute outfits were purchased and the bed ordered, we found out that the young couple didn't think they wanted to put their baby up for adoption anymore. But, there is always hope and until there is no hope.... The day that Hannah Jo was born all hope ended.

We looked into other options but it was all so painful. So, we put this dream in the hand of our God believing that if He wanted us to have a baby He could bring us a baby. The years that followed were difficult. It's not easy when your dreams are shattered. It is painful to have a mothers heart that longs for the children she will never have. Mother's Day was always especially painful and it is extremely awkward when all the mothers are asked to stand. Sometimes it would hurt so bad it would literally take my breath away.

Precept Ministries International plays a huge role in my healing. Because of this ministry, I learned how to study the Word of God for myself. And, in learning how to study the Word of God for myself, I developed a deep and intimate relationship with the God of the Word. I can know and understand God's heart. Isn't that amazing? And, I know God's heart for ME. So as feelings come, sadness creeps in, the lies of the enemy bombard - I can take up the truths of God's Word and use them to encourage and remind myself, and do battle with the enemy. It is a miracle of God that Mother's Day no longer bothers me and that most of the time Hannah Jo's birthday comes and goes and I don't even remember it!

A few years back several of the teens in my church were graduating and I attended. It was awesome to watch these teens. But, as I sat there my spirit became downcast within me and I began asking the Lord why - what was wrong with me. The Lord brought to my mind that Hannah Jo was somewhere graduating too. I sat there a little stunned. By the time I got home, I was really sad. The next morning, I got up and was talking to the Lord about it all. The one thing I just couldn't figure out was where all the emotion was coming from as I thought God had healed me. I remember saying to the Lord "I thought we were past this!" That day the Lord revealed SO much to me. I learned that you can be healed and yet still mourn the loss of something. You see, I guess I thought that if you were healed of something it meant you never got sad about it. SO not true! As I stood in my kitchen that morning this is how my conversation with the Lord went....

Okay Lord, so we couldn't' have our own children but - adoption! Surely there was one baby on the face of the earth that we could have adopted. We just wanted to adopt.

I heard the Lord speak into my heart

"I know Sally, I have children I want to adopt too."

No longer did the pain take my breath away but the realization that God had just shared His heart with me took my breath away. As much as a human could, I understood the longing of God's heart. Yes! He does have children He wants to adopt into His family and His longing to do so is INTENSE. So intense, He sacrificed His Son - His one and only Son in order to adopt children. Truthfully - that's hard to get my mind around.

The day that God shared His heart with me became the day I realized on a much deeper level the importance and privilege I had of being a spiritual mother. To help God adopt children into His family and be used by God to grow up His children spiritually. WOW! This intense longing I have in my heart for the people God puts within my reach is from Him. He has given me a mother's heart for them and I am so grateful! I long and ache for them, I'm willing to fight for them - I'll do whatever it takes for them to possess what they have in Christ and to know experientially their Creator as Father.

While I truly believe I have experienced the longings of a mothers heart toward her children, I've not known what it was like to receive the love of a child. Until recently - this past January actually. During the past few years, I've had the joy of working for God together with 3 very precious women. I've loved them as spiritual daughters. I can't really tell you that I've done all that much spiritual mothering because I think I learned far more from them than they learned from me. But, God did give me opportunity to come along side of them, cheer them on and I believe the ability to see in them what He sees in them. On a special night in January, they loved on me. And, I felt something I have never felt. It was different than receiving the love of a husband, a parent, a sister or family member. The love they showered upon me reached some place in my heart that had never been reached. Is this what it feels like to receive the love of a child? God is amazing!

Do you know what it does to the heart of God when we love on Him? Do you know that we touch places in the heart of the Almighty that only you and I can touch. No one else can take that place in God's heart that is reserved for me and for you. All the children in all the world cannot fill that place. It doesn't mean that God loves me more or you less. It just means that each and every one of us has this special place in the very heart of God. God longs for you and God longs for me. I believe God expresses His heart so beautifully in Isaiah 30:18 when He's talking to His children. They are not just words but God's very heart! He says he longs and waits for us. Pause and think about that! Oh, I want to bless the very heart of God today by showering Him with my love. I want to touch the places in God's heart that only I can touch. Amazing....truly amazing.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

Grow up!

2009-05-01T17:21:00.004-04:00

Back in 2002, Jan Silvious came to my community and talked to us about being spiritual "big girls." In fact, she later wrote her book entitled: Big Girls Don't Whine. The book description says this:

"Do you ever behave like a little girl - pouting, neediness, or manipulation - when you're stressed? Silvious's wisdom-filled book will help you abandon childish ways and become the confident woman God intended! Learn how to resolve conflict peacefully, embrace responsibility, endure life's storms with grace, and more ."

Jan is an awesome teacher and very wise woman. She's also a hoot! I remember laughing my head off as she painted the picture of a NOT so big girl who whines! I laughed my head off while recognizing my own behaviors. Jan has the ability to do that... Slap you up side the head with truth and make you laugh at the same time. But, I left there with a desire to no longer be a spiritually immature child but a woman determined to - grow up into all aspects of Him - Christ (Eph. 4:15). You know, no longer childish in my thinking and behavior, but mature!

Some time around or shortly after this conference, I began to see the above slogan on plaques, mugs, T-shirts and I loved it. After all, it was the perfect slogan for my new resolve to be grown up in my behavior and thinking...to be spiritually mature in my reactions and responses to my situations and circumstances.

As I look back, it seem the years that followed this new found resolve required a lot of putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it. A growing ministry with growing challenges. A loss of hormones brought on severe hot flashes which brought about sleep deprivation. A lack of hormones combined with a lack of sleep equals all sorts of other issues. Which by the way, I still deal with today. Mix in the normal ups, downs and arounds of life and putting on your big girl panties and dealing with it can be a real challenge.

In fact, several years ago I decided I really didn't like this slogan. In the midst of major ministry concerns, we were planning a large conference and so prayerful that it would turn our community of women upside down for Jesus. But, women weren't registering in the numbers we had hoped and since the conference was expensive there were major financial concerns. In the midst of all this, my parents decided to sell everything they owned and move from GA to PA to live with my husband and me. Because we lived in a 2 story townhouse, we would need to find a home with a first floor bedroom for my parents. And, we only had 2 weeks to do so. A week after my parents arrived and right in the middle of all the moving, we found out my mother had brain cancer - dying only 3 months later. In a matter of months, my father lost his home & possessions, the love of his life, his eyesight and independence. The months after my mothers death brought some health issues for my father and were an adjustment for us all. I had the responsibility of a ministry that was still growing, struggling and requiring much prayer, diligence, perseverance and now also the responsibility of caring for my father - who by the way is a dear man. It meant much less time spent with my husband who would have to go back and forth to NYC without me. Since we'd spent most of our married life apart, we had hoped to never have to spend a lot of time apart ever again. But, you put on your big girl panties and deal with it! Yeppers as they say here in PA - getting real tired of that slogan. Sometime during daddy's 40 radiation treatments, his demon possessed dog making every day in my own home intolerable, and ETC...is when I realized that putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it was not humanly possible.

I wasn't sure I wanted to be a big girl about it all and some days I couldn't remember why it was I should be. It was just all too much and a part of me wanted to fall apart. Or at the very least go back to bed, curl up in a ball and leave someone else to deal with it all. What I learned during this time was that every day Jesus got me out of bed and He put my big girl panties on me and He gave me what I needed to deal with it. This is NOT something that can be done - day after day after day - out of resolve or in the flesh.

Life hasn't gotten easier. In fact, just today my husband and I agreed it's harder! Our home's been up for sale for over 6 months and has only been shown 3 times. Tom and I are separated. Thank God he's been provided a warm and inviting apartment at the ministry in which to live but separated from his help mate. It's just not good for man to be alone! His days are long and his responsibilities new. I am beginning to hear the loneliness and discouragement in his voice. We have everything we own up for sale but with the economy the way it is - no one is buying. I'm still struggling to let go of a ministry that God birthed within me and is still a huge part of me. While I have roles and responsibilities at my new job and within a ministry that I love, I'm not sure where I fit yet. I have so much to learn. Plus, I'm here and they are down there. By the time Tom and I touch base with each other in the evenings, we are both brain dead. It's really difficult not being able to share our lives with one another. I show up at my church and people wonder why I'm still around. My days are long and daddy spends a lot of time by himself waiting for his life to be turned upside down with yet another move. And, devil dog is still intolerable. But, God...

For the last couple of weeks though, I've been thinking about that slogan that I don't like. And you know what? I get it in a whole new way and that is VERY exciting. I WANT to put on my big girl panties. Sure, it's for the same reasons as before after hearing Jan Silvious speak...no longer childish in my thinking and behavior but spiritually mature. I want to grow up in all aspects to Him - Christ. As Jan says, I want "embrace responsibility, endure life's storms with grace, and more." But, my motivation is totally different. But it's more than that too. Today, right now, in the midst of all uncertainty and the betwixt and between - I WANT to "embrace responsibility, endure life's storms with grace and more" because I want others to know and see that putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it proves that Jesus is:
...Able
...Awesome
...Provides
...Sustains
...Sufficient
...Worthy
...And so much more

I want others to KNOW that Jesus is the reason I WANT to put on my big girl panties and deal with anything. It's not out of some duty or sense of obligation. No, it's because I've experienced the truths from the Word of God about Who He is and what He says about Himself to be absolute truth! It is because I KNOW that during the most difficult times in my life He is the ONE who wakes me up, gets me out of bed, puts my big girl panties on me and gives me the ability to embrace life no matter what AND with grace plus more. Jesus IS my reason for living and He alone is worth living for...

If you've never heard the CD by Anne Graham Lotz and Fernando Ortega you'll find it in the back of Anne's book called "Just Give Me Jesus." It's been on my heart all week and I dug it out and listened to it. I tried to post it on my Facebook but couldn't. It's probably just as well as I'm sure that's illegal - even for purposes of encouragement! You'll love it and your spirits will lift as you hear Anne call out the names and character of Jesus. JESUS - JUST GIVE ME JESUS - and God has! Amen?

The Gospel!

2009-04-29T21:48:00.002-04:00

The cost of complacency

2009-04-19T19:45:00.002-04:00

I remember the moment I realized I was a complacent woman. Sometimes the truth hurts and this was one of those times. Until that very moment, I would have never thought of myself as complacent. In fact, God was developing within me a real passion for Him and for His Word. As such, I was seeking Him in a greater way and devoting more and more of my time in service to Him and to His. But I was still complacent. In some ways I still am. I hate that because there is a cost to complacency.

How did I come to understand I was complacent? I came face to face with the Word of God. Specifically, Isaiah 32. There I saw that the women who were at ease and complacent were being told to "rise up." A verse later the women at ease and who were complacent were being told to tremble, be troubled, take a look around and then mourn and weep over what they were seeing. These women were comfortable and secure and this had caused them to be careless. I learned they no longer cared about what was going on all around them but cared only for their own comfort and ease. Otherwise they would not have been told to "rise up." So how does complacency look in my life?

It looks like…
…A lot of time, energy and effort making sure I live in comfort and security.
…Spending hours tending my stuff and accumulating more.…Pursuing the "American dream" rather God's will and plans for my life.
…Seeing what others have, are pursuing and doing and letting that be the measure for how I am doing in my own life.
…Doing everything I can to keep from sacrificing any of my comfort and what I’ve determine brings me security.

Being complacent is the exact opposite of trusting in and relying on God. For trusting and relying on God ALWAYS, ALWAYS means getting out of my comfort zone and walking away from what I consider secure.

Complacency has cost me God ordained moments. You see, to pursue what God has planned for me means giving up my plans for a life of comfort and ease. That means giving up something or being uncomfortable in some way. My complacency causes me to put my needs above the needs of others. So then, my complacency cost others. I mean just look at Isaiah 32 and what had happened to the land and to the people because of complacency.

More and more every day, I realize how much I have bought into the "American Dream" that I should have and hoard. I have so loved the world and the things of the world. I have been so easily distracted and bought into so many of the lies the world has offered and I am SO ashamed.

Complacency has cost me years of denying myself, taking up my cross and following my Jesus (Matthew 16:24)

Complacency has cost me untold moments when I could have "gained Christ" but didn't because I was unwilling to "suffer loss" (Philippians 3:7-14).

Complacency has cost those God has put within my reach and influence because I have been and am unwilling to get out of my comfort zone, give up my comforts & ease. So it means others go without. Complacency costs me the experience of finding all my joy in God, having all my needs met in God or being totally satisfied in God.

Complacency costs me untold opportunities to bring God glory by proving He really is my Provider and that suffering for His name sake really is a gift.

God's Word has opened my eyes and what I see is that God wants me to live a life totally abandoned to Him so that I can fulfill His purposes for my life. It means trusting in and relying on ONLY Him. It means walking by faith but in order to do that I have to KNOW Him and the only way to KNOW Him is to KNOW His Word. I understand now that I cannot step out in faith and follow Jesus if I don't know Who it is that I am following. Praise be to God I do KNOW. But I’m also learning what it really means and looks like to FOLLOW Jesus.

To follow Jesus will cost me my comfort and life of ease. I will have to deny myself. It will cause me to have to “rise up” and follow Him. How did we get so far from the truth? Truth has stumbled in the streets (Isaiah 59:14). We preach another Jesus and a different gospel (2 Corinthians 11:4).

I am tired of paying the price of complacency and I am tired of making excuses for myself and other complacent Christians. Living out of our comfort zones isn't easy. Denying me of what I want and think I need - dying to self is painful. I don't want to suffer - but if I'm not denying, dying and suffering - can I really call myself a follower of Christ? What does staying in my place of complacency say to the world about what I really believe? How does my complacency distort the character and glory of God? What will happen to the world around me - around us - if I/we don't “rise up” out of our place of comfort, ease - complacency?

I call myself Beloved of God. Years ago, I claimed Philippians 3:7-14 as my life verses (I know, obviously clueless). But today I am taken back by a fresh look at these truths from God's Word and also from Romans 8:16-18 which says...

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

"If? IF? IF INDEED I WHAT????? What I BELIEVE determines how I live my life. Does my life say that ....
...I suffer with Christ?
...I consider the sufferings of this present time not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed?
...Whatever things were gain to me those I counted as loss for the sake of Christ?

Oh God, what does my life say about what I really believe? I am so tired of missing the mark, living the life of complacency. I want my life to SHOUT your trustworthiness and faithfulness because I trust in and rely on YOU and YOU alone. I want to live a life totally surrendered and submitted to you no matter what it costs me. Please God - don't let me miss another minute of what You want to do in me and through me. Cause me to fully understand what it means to find ALL my joy in YOU. Help me to experience being full in the fullness of YOU. Help me to remember that glory awaits me and nothing this world has to offer or can take from me can compare to that!

Jesus Messiah - Name above all names...

2009-04-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

Danger, danger!

2009-04-09T07:56:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I traveled to CA, attended various meetings & gatherings and to assist Miss Kay. On Friday night and Saturday morning, she spoke at a conference hosted by Friends Church where over 1200 women (and a few men) attended. Right from the get go, she challenged us by asking: "Do you really want God to speak to you or do you want to bury your head in the sand?" Then, went right into the idiom of the ostrich burying its head in the sand...making its very large back side a very large target! Oh yeah....I've definitely resembled that remark!

Yes, I did really want God to speak and speak He did. Our handout was Chapters 1-4, 11 & 12 of Hebrews and boy did I learn alot. I was also reminded in a fresh and powerful way of why studying the Bible inductively is the ONLY way to study! I have "read" Hebrews so many times. While doing other inductive studies, I've even studied certain chapters in Hebrews. But, it's only in CAREFULLY observing the WHOLE book did I get the WHOLE picture.

For instance, as I read through Hebrews, I circled every reference to you which made the details about the people being written to JUMP OFF THE PAGE. You know what I found out from doing this? These folks were:
...Working for the Lord
...Ministering to the saints (6:10)
...Had endured a great conflict of suffering (10:32)
...Been made a public spectacle through reproaches & tribulation (10:33)
...Been imprisioned
...Shown sympathy to prisioners
...Had their property seized (10:34)

BUT, I also learned they were in danger! They were in danger of:
...Drifting away (2:1)
...Falling away from the living God (3:12)

Boy, did that ever get my attention. How is this possible? Well, asking the 5 W's & H questions once again showed me. They
...Had become dull of hearing (5:11)
...Ought to be teachers/mature but needed milk; couldn't handle solid food (5:12-14)
...Had need of endurance (10:36)

Wow - details so easily missed. Had I not been reading asking who are these people and how are they were described, I'm absolutely convinced that once again I would have missed these very important facts.

Now, I really get Hebrews 11 - the faith chapter. Because they were in danger, they needed to be encouraged to keep the faith and to hold fast until the end. Now, I understand why the author went into such detail about Jesus as our high priest. They needed to be reminded that not only did Jesus understand but He symphatized. AND, they could draw near with confidence to the throne of grace and mercy and find help in their time of need.

Oh my - listen to this....because their attention was no longer on Jesus but on their situations and circumstances, they weren't growing spiritually. They were in danger of falling away. If that happened, it would prove that the word they had heard (the gospel) had not been united by faith. That's just plain scary.

It was REALLY interesting and attention getting to note that the author kept reminding them of what they had heard, were hearing and the importance of what they did with what they heard - how they responded to what they had heard. HERE'S THE BOTTOM LINE:

They heard the word. Week after week I hear the word. They....me....will respond in one of two ways.

...Harden my heart (do not believe by faith)
...Accept by faith = live by faith

These truths became so clear to me. So simple. So black and white. And, they cut right to my heart! Just like the author of Hebrews says...."the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hurts so good!

You know what? If they were in danger then I am too. Fixing my eyes on Jesus...

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross..." Hebrews 12:1-2

What if?

2009-04-01T00:01:00.000-04:00

Created by Dustin Rawls. Thank you Dustin!

What's a living epistle?

2009-03-26T20:33:00.004-04:00

I've always struggled with Scripture memory. I remember watching and listening to my sister memorize huge chunks of Scripture as she progressed through the ranks of "Girls Auxiliary." We moved before I had to go further than step 1 - "maiden." I am sure that was God's divine intervention to save me and my family the humiliation of being the first person to "flunk out" (of get kicked out) of GA's!

I'm totally frustrated with my attempts to memorize Scripture. Using the ESV Bible online, I did finally figure out how to get the Scriptures I wanted to memorize on my ipod. It's awesome to listen to them while getting dressed in the morning. The funny thing is though - the "address" isn't a part of the listening experience. And, I have NOT figured out how to get the verse to keep repeating. So, it goes from one verse to the next to the next. Like it starts out with Deuteronomy 6:5 and goes right into Ecclesiastes 8:8 then to Isaiah 44:20, etc. Sound pretty neat and I love hearing the Word of God, but it's not doing a thing for my Scripture memory.

Next to confessing with my mouth and believing in my heart that Jesus is my Savior and Lord, learning how to study the Bible inductively is the best thing that ever happened to me. In a 2.5 day training, I learned about observation, interpretation, and application. Things like slowing down to observe what the Bible (God) was saying by asking who, what, where, when, why & how questions. Then learning to examine the answers to these questions and how my attitudes and behaviors were lining up to the truths discovered...WOW. I learned the importance of understanding what was being said before and after a passage of Scripture and the setting in which the words were being spoken....CONTEXT. Context rules! Who knew?

Suddenly, the Bible went from something I thought was boring, outdated and a mystery to a letter from God....the very Words of God...recorded and preserved through the ages just for me! God shares His heart - His longings and desires for me/us. He reveals His plans and purposes for our lives. Here, in His Word, I have discovered that the One Who spoke the World into existence wants to be personally involved in every detail of my life - if I will let Him. It's a wonder!

Studying inductively helps me remember the book in which particular passage of Scripture can be found and sometimes I can even go to the chapter. Very exciting for someone who struggles with Scripture memory! But a secret goal of mine is to be a walking Bible. I want to so know God's Word so that when I speak it's 90% speaking the words of God. Well, how can you do that if you can't even memorize God's Word? Totally frustrating! Shouldn't I just give up? NO - but maybe.....just maybe I should change my approach. Here's what I'm thinking...

As I study God's Word, I want Christ to so work in my heart and life that Christ Himself is actually taking the very Words of God and through His Holy spirit...carving them on my heart. I want to become a letter of Christ - a living epistle. I want God's Word to so reside in me, be at home in me and be such a part of me - that I live the words out. And while I may NEVER get to the point that I can quote Scripture after Scripture - complete with each address....oh sweet Jesus - help me to SPEAK these precious Scriptures with my life.

You are our letter...read by all men...being manifested that you are a letter of Christ...written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. 2 Co 3:2-3

Impacting the world around us

2009-03-20T20:27:00.004-04:00

I'm sure by now you've all heard about Red Envelope Day. From the first moment I read about it, I was deeply touched. It is so awesome to see how God touches hearts, implants ideas and fills people with the desire and passion to see a task to completion! Red Envelope Day is really a simple idea, but can have significant impact. I've been watching the calendar and have had every intention of getting my red envelopes ready and in the mail. Just haven't done it. But tonight I was checking my Facebook and saw Red Envelope Day has posted a video (see below). As I watched the people in the video "working together" I was moved to get moving! How about joining me next Friday night (March 27) and let's get some red envelopes ready. Together, let's at least TRY impact the world around us! Bring your printed labels, red envelopes & stamps. I'll provide snacks and beverages. Let me know if you are coming!

Singing to myself

2009-03-18T06:22:00.005-04:00

Yes, I said singin' to myself. Actually, singing to my soul would be a better way to put it! I woke up with Psalm 103 on my heart this morning. And, for the first time in a week or so, I was eager to get out of bed! I headed downstairs, grabbed my coffee, opened God's Word and read Psalm 103. It's a familiar Psalm, but today it is fresh and new. This morning, Psalm 103 is the soul food I needed! So, here I sit singin' to my soul. Come, sing with me....here are the words:

BLESS THE LORD - O MY SOUL!

(Bless = praise with gratitude and with passion)

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. The Lord performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them. The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the Lord, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word! Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You who serve Him, doing His will. Bless the Lord, all you works of His, In all places of His dominion; Bless the Lord, O my soul!" (Psalm 103)

Running with horses?

2009-03-09T06:49:00.006-04:00

In my new role with Precept Ministries (PMI), one of my things I've been trying to help do is organize pre and post PMI events around Kay Arthur's speaking engagements. So, on occasion, I will accompany her. I just returned from a great trip to the DC, VA, MD areas. It was wonderful to meet with many leaders and supporters of PMI in/around the DC area. Then, we headed to MD for a women's conference. The "perk" in all this is getting to sit under Kay Arthur's teaching and teach she did. The group of women were hungry and seemed to hang on God's every Word...precious! It was a HARD message, but it was TRUTH! The organizer of the conference gave Kay the freedom to speak what God put on her heart and take all the time she needed. Even though I was there in a support role and to serve, God spoke to me too!

Have you ever felt like God had a key repeated word or subject going in your life? You know, subjects that seem to keep coming up, being repeated until you finally think - okay God, you've got a theme going!

Harlotry...War...Battle...Fight...Boot Camp...Weary

Over the last few years, when I hear the above words, my spiritual ears seem to perk up! I've blogged about some of what God has been showing me as a way to help me process and get my mind around what I believe God is putting in my heart. God has definitely shown and convicted me that I've played the harlot, must be totally set apart for Him, need to toughen up, stop whining and learn to FIGHT! I'm coming to look at trials and testings as being in God's "boot camp" and understand that boot camp is preparation for combat. I know I'm not ready, yet I sense the battle rages and valiant warriors are needed - yesterday.

God used the messages that Kay shared over the weekend to confirm that these impressions are definitely from Him. Two passages jumped off the pages and pricked my heart.

...sons of Issachar, men who understood the times, with knowledge of what Israel should do...1 Chronicles 12:32

WOW! If ever sons (and daughters) of Issachar were needed - IT IS NOW! Are we ready for what is coming? Am I ready to do battle? Do I understand the times and do I know - accordingly to the Word of God - what to do? That leads me to the next verse that grabbed my heart this past weekend. Interestingly, it was given to me only a week or so ago by a new friend on facebook. It's a real attitude adjuster!

If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, how will you do in the ticket of the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5

Whine, whine, whine. If I get tired with the day to day trials and testings, how am I ever going to hold up in the real heat of a batte? If I am this inept during times of relative ease and comfort how will I ever be able to hold up when all my comforts and freedoms have been stripped from me? If I can't see, discern and stand firm against the schemes of the enemy now, how I ever see him coming in the thick jungle or a thicket? Well, I won't. I need to toughen up. I want to toughen up. I want to be God's woman for this hour. A valiant warrior who understands the times, knows what to do and can compete with horses and stand even in the thicket. Will I? Oh, dear God - I pray so...

...but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits. Daniel 11:32(b)

Down time?

2009-03-01T09:43:00.006-05:00

I've been wondering lately what the difference is between being really busy and working really hard. So, I decided to go to Webster's. Here what I found:

BUSY = engaged in action; occupied; being in use (found the telephone busy); full of activity; Bustling (a busy seaport); foolishly or intrusively active; meddling; full of distracting detail (a busy design).

WORK = activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: a: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result; the labor, task, or duty that is one's accustomed means of livelihood; a specific task, duty, function, or assignment often being a part or phase of some larger activity.

No shortage of things to do and get done! But is what I'm doing making a difference in the world around me...for Christ? I really don't want people to look at my life and see me as BUSY. What I want them to see is someone who chooses to work hard for the Lord. I believe with all of my heart Ephesians 2:10, which says that I've been created in Christ Jesus for good works. I went to my Greek word study dictionary this time and found the Greek definition for works is:

...business, employment, that which any one is occupied; that which one undertakes to do, enterprise, undertaking; any product whatever, any thing accomplished by hand, art, industry, or mind; an act, deed, thing done: the idea of working is emphasised in opp. to that which is less than work.

Sounds just like Webster's definition! Ephesians 2:10 goes on to tell me that before God ever spoke the world into existence, He planned this work for me. WOW. This is true for each one who is in Christ Jesus. This is incredible...it is awesome. The God who just spoke and the world came to be. Come on...speaking the earth, sun, moon and only He knows how many stars into existance. He doesn't need me to get anything done. But He chooses to include me. He wants me to be involved and to be a part of the work He wants accomplished. Each one who is in Christ has been placed right where we are. People put within our reach and influence and work planned just for and given to us. What kind of work? GOOD work.

It's been my experience that while the work God has planned for each one of us is indeed good, it is also HARD. VERY HARD. It is also costly. First, you have to be willing to seek the Lord to find out what work He's planned for you and is calling you to perform. Then, He begins to put things on your heart to do for Him and you realize it will require absolute commitment. That almost always means getting out of your comfort zone, leaving what you know and walking blindly (by faith) into the unknown - awaiting further instructions! No sooner do you commitment to the work then all kinds of things come at you to get you to stop the work. And, frankly - there isn't much resting until the work is done. Who in the Bible had it easy? Well, I do like the story of Esther and her 6 months of spa treatments! But then again that was right before she could have been put to death.

So, what about down time? What about me time? Time to rest, refresh, play and have fun? It's hard to do when you see all that's going on around you. I say it again - there is a battle raging and we have lost much ground. During a time of war how much down time, me time, rest time, refresh time, play time and fun time does a soldier get? Well, I went out to lunch with my daddy the other day. He just happens to be a World War II veteran so I asked him: "Daddy, what did down time look like when you were off to war?" You know what his answer was? I loved it. I was blown away by it and I can't stop thinking about it. He answered "waiting." That's right, down time for a soldier in war is waiting. He explained by telling me they would get up early, get ready, geared up and then sit around waiting for the trucks to take them where they were going. They'd get to where they were going and wait for their orders. They'd march 20 miles and then wait flat on their backs until it was time to march again. He told me that every or month "or so" they would get a 3-day pass but couldn't go far on a 3-day pass. Depending on where you were it might mean not having a lot of options. The goal of the 3-day pass was so the soldier would rest, refresh and return to fight some more. Winning the war was of utmost importance.

Yep, it's good to get a 3-day pass every other month or so. You know, a little down time SO THAT I can return to fight another day! .And do you know what refreshes me? Having dinner with my husband, being in the presence of those who love the Lord and love to talk about the Lord. I'm renewed when I spend time in the presence of those who love me for who I am! And you know something else? I'm now viewing those times of waiting as down time. I'm serious! To take a few moments during the week when I might be waiting in a doctor's office, traffic, airport or grocery store line to refresh myself. Rather than talking on the phone, texting or emailing, I think I'll seize the waiting as down time. SO THAT I can endure hardship, do the work, fulfill my ministy assignment (2 Timothy 4:5).

If ever active Christian soldiers were needed, it is now. What do you think of the below...

Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier. (1 Timothy 1:18)

God is enough

2009-02-24T19:20:00.005-05:00

I haven't seen my husband in about a month now. He is coming home the first weekend of March - halleljuah! But, it could be another month after that and after that...only God knows. We've got pretty much everything we own up for sale, but nobody's really buying. It helps to know that Tom loves what he's doing and for me to know that what he is doing is important. I keep reminding myself that during World War II men went off to war and the women did what they had to do. They were willing to sacrifice for the good of the nation. I'm convinced that my husband has gone to fight the spiritual battle that rages and I must be willing to sacrifice for the good of others. There are days when I must also fight - in different ways. The emotions that come with being separated from my husband, stuck in this house with my daddy's demon possessed dog, trying to do & learn a job via the phone and internet, the looming loss of "things" and ministry... The emotions of life have the potential of taking you down to the pit if you don't take up the Word of Truth and use it to do battle. Today, I attended - for the very LAST time a Truth for Women month of prayer gathering. It could have been painful, but we focused on God's Sovereignty and I was strengthened, encouraged and reminded of what Job said....The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21). While I have NEVER suffered physically or suffered such great loss as Job, I am so very, very grateful that I can know God the way that Job knew God. I do know God because I know God's Word. While getting my work done this afternoon, I've been pondering all these things in my heart. While checking email, someone sent me to the new GodTube now known as Tangle sight and I found the below on the front page. Perfect truth for girding up ones loins. God IS enough. May God be glorified. (Below is by John Piper.)

Some day....

2009-02-19T19:16:00.007-05:00

A dear friend of mine just sent me the below and I knew immediately I had to post it on my blog. As I started to watch, a smile came to my face and my heart warmed . Some day I thought.... some day when the King of Kings reigns over the earth there will be peace. I long for it!

...wolf will dwell with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little boy will lead them. Also the cow and the bear will graze, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child will put his hand on the viper’s den. They will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea. Then in that day the nations will resort to the root of Jesse,Who will stand as a signal for the peoples; and His resting place will be glorious. Isaiah 11:6-10

I need courage

2009-02-16T06:59:00.000-05:00

Life and the emotions of life have been coming at me a lot lately. I have a list of things that concern me. Real things, situations and circumstances that need divine intervention! The thing is - where I am in my thinking and emotions - I don't expect much will get scratched off the list today. In fact, the list will probably be longer by the end of the day. It just seems to be one of those times when things seem to be going this way. You know what I mean? Because I have a tendency to make things all about me, I find myself wondering before the Lord...Where are you?....What are you doing?...What in the world is going on?....I don't understand...

I must keep taking time to get God's perspective on my situations and circumstances, or my thinking will spiral downward and my emotions and attitudes will follow (not pretty). Well, wouldn't you know I picked up my favorite little devotional book and opened it to "Courage." Just the dose of truth I needed to hear, remember and LIVE out.

"My people shall not go mourning, for I the Lord will be their rejoicing and their song. They will not be a complaining people, for I will take away the murmuring from your streets. Will I lead into the battlefronts an army of weeping women? Will I ask the fainthearted to war? No, but I shall give my people brave and courageous spirits, and I will make them strong of heart. I will give them the spirit of the martyrs, for they will be My witnesses of resurrection power. They shall be stalwart. They shall be steadfast. And I will remove from the ranks those who are timid and those who desire comfort and security. My way is a way of sacrifice, and the rewards are not in worldly honors. So take upon you the full armor f God; the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the loins girded with truth, feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, having shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit. Yes, My people this is a hand-to-hand combat. You shall stand against the foe face-to-face. You will not turn in retreat lest you be slain; for there is no armor to protect the back. The coward will perish. You have not wrestled in any measure such as he, the Lord Jesus. You are not prepared to enter into this conflict as long as you are absorbed in the luxuries and the personal comforts of normal life. For every soldier must give first place to his obligation to the armed forces, and second place to his own private life and wishes. Even so you must do, if you would be My followers. Even so did Jesus during His earthly ministry. His entire life was subordinated to the Father's will. As it is written, 'Even Christ did not please Himself' (Romans 15:3). How dare you risk allowing the flesh to manifest its desires? They can be only evil continually. No good thing can come out of a deceitful heart. As the old hymn says, 'The arm of flesh will fail you - you dare not trust your own.' Only that which is generated within you by the Spirit of God can bring forth righteousness 'do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God' (Romans 12:2)."

Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts

He "hung the moon"

2009-02-12T06:01:00.001-05:00

If you refer to someone as having "hung the moon" it means you think they are extremely wonderful, amazing or good! Well, my Father God hung the moon and this week that moon has been glorious. BIG, round, bright and just hanging there. That reality always takes my breath away. When the moon is full like this, I love stopping and thinking about the fact that I live on a planet that hangs in the middle of a vast universe and I'm standing there looking at this huge moon that also hangs in the middle of a vast universe. God causes this! This truth boasts of His might and His power. I stand in awe of my Father God for He literally and figuratively "hung the moon." Yes, He is extremely wonderful, amazing and good and I look to Him fixing my gaze upon Him. He is mine and I am His. What a wonder...

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24-25

Sweeter than chocolate?

2009-02-08T17:06:00.001-05:00

I've met a new friend on Facebook. Her name is Pam Gillespie and she's written and been leading an inductive Bible study on Psalm 119 entitled "Sweeter Than Chocolate" (coming soon). I remember the first time God pricked my heart with the words from Psalm 119:103... "How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" We were in Israel and for the first time in my life I could appreciate how much they love their honey in that part of the world. So, what would be sweet like honey to me? You got it! CHOCOLATE. Could I say - Lord, how sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than chocolate to my mouth?

Sometimes I can eat so much of a good thing that I no longer savor the taste. Or, it is so readily available to me that I no longer treasure it's value. This has been true of me in my life concerning the Word of God. There have been times when I have "eaten" but have not tasted its sweetness or savored it as I would a piece of fine and expensive chocolate. God revealed this to me about myself as I read Psalm 119:103 that day. God, via His Word, got my attention and I had to ask myself if this statement was true of me. Isn't that awesome? God forgive me for all the times I've rushed to God's Word and left without ever hearing, feeling, tasting or savoring. The truth is, I can still do it. I mean, If I'm not intentional and don't actually ask God to teach me, speak to my heart, and change me, I can go at my Bible study just like any other task. I really don't like that about myself. But God recently showed me how far He has brought me. I stand in awe.

As many wonderful things as we have going on in our lives, there is still all the day to day of living! Added to that are all the changes in our lives right now. Some days I just know the only way I am making it through is because God is faithful and is holding me up. Honestly, I've had a couple of days when I was so tired (emotionally and physically) that I didn't "feel" anything. This has been a totally new experience for me and I wondered if I wasn't just shutting down emotionally. This notion really bother me and actually horrified me, but I was too tired to try and even think about it let alone deal with or work through it. Fiddly dee...I'll think about that tomorrow... Tomorrow came and I woke up feeling the same way. Kind of numb. Wouldn't you know it was a Sunday morning and I was going to have to go to church and "act" like I cared. I got to church and at Sunday School and we started reading Scripture and I actually started to feel less numb. I was being moved and felt. The songs we sang that morning had me in tears and the Scripture our pastor taught stirred me so much that I left totally energized. God got to me. God's Word got to me. Isn't it awesome? I could feel. I wasn't numb. And it wasn't people or things that revived me - it was God via His Word. Did you hear me? It was God via His Word. Amazing!

Hebrews 6:4 and 1 Peter 2:3 talk about having "tasted" the word of God and the kindness of God. The Greek word for tasted means to experience or partake (in the absolute sense). My prayer is that we, as His Beloved, go to His precious Word to taste and leave having tasted. Now, that's SWEET!

...for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. Psalm 138:2(b)

One beautiful night...

2009-02-04T07:01:00.002-05:00

I was totally surprised by the events of last Saturday night. I am still overwhelmed (in a good way) and trying to process all that happened. You see, my "chicks" as I lovingly call them decided to host a celebration. The thing I cannot get my mind around is that they celebrated me. People actually showed up to love on me, thank me and appreciate me for my work of service during these past 9 years with Truth for Women. As I listened to several of my dear friends and co laborers speak, I cried, laughed, shook my head in disbelief and cried some more. At the end, they asked me if I wanted to say something and as I stood there I just babbled. All night long, I relieved the moment. And, I thought of a lot of things I wish I would have said. Here they are:

1. Thank you! Geez, I can't remember if I stood up and said thank you. If I didn't I am horrified because my heart was and is overflowing with thankfulness. I am so deeply touched that Jessie, Kim, Sharon & Susan would go to all the work and care of planning such a wonderful surprise and that so many people would come out on a Saturday night in the middle of winter to attend. I deeply regret not getting to hug and talk to each and every one that attended, but I will NEVER forget the sight of seeing everyone sitting there. Thank you for loving me.
2. I am so proud of Jessie and Kim. They are God's women for this hour. They are the future and I am so grateful to God for the time He gave me with them - together serving HIM! It is true that God put within me an understanding that I would not be the woman to take TFW all the way so to speak. And, it is true that I have prayed and waited for that woman or those women God would raise up. I have NO doubts that God has called Jessie and Kim and that these precious women have answered the call. For the past 9 years, getting up every day to pursue the vision of TFW has been my reason for getting up every day! I pursued this God given vision with passion, pit-bull determination and as though it needed to happen YESTERDAY. God put this within me. God has put it also within Jessie and Kim.
3. God has also raised up Sharon and her heart certainly beats with mine concerning The Women's Center Lehigh Valley. I'll never, ever forget sitting down in 1999 and putting on paper the vision of TWC. Thinking about not being around to "make" it happen is hard for me. But, knowing that Sharon not only gets it but she sees it? All I can say is praise the Lord and thank you Jesus! These precious women are called by God and they have committed to God. Commitment these days is a rare and beautiful thing. For when I say these women are committed what I mean is they will do whatever it takes to see the vision, mission and purpose of Truth for Women, My Sister's Closet and The Women's Center Lehigh Valley realized.
4. I still don't know why people would come to celebrate me. Don't get me wrong - I'm not sure I've ever felt so loved or appreciate in my entire life and who doesn't want or need that? But fighting for the women in my community has been the joy of my life. Working to help women embrace God's Word as truth is what God brought me to this moment in my life to do. Fighting for the spiritual health of this community has been the only reasonable thing to do. I think of what Bill Hybels says in his book "Holy Discontent." He calls them "Popeye" moments. Times when God puts such a burden on your heart and brings you to the point where you cry out and move out saying "I can't stands it, I can't stands it, I can't stands it no more." When God does this to you and propels you into action - watch out! So watch out for Jessie, Kim, Sharon and Susan!
5. I wish I had praised my husband more. I did say that were it not for him TFW wouldn't exist, but what I didn't share is why. Oh yes, He was very encouraging and supportive. You see, he's the spiritually gifted leader in our family. And, he's had years of business experience. Over the course of 9 years, he sat with me untold hours teaching me how to lead, giving me insights, honest observations, and unbias feedback. I have learned so much from this precious man. He NEVER complained about the number of hours I spent in front of the computer, away at meetings or opening our home to gatherings of people. In fact, he supported it and I'd say at least during the first 5 years, financially made it all happen. Tom's financial investment in TFW was a personal investment in me and every woman in this community. Thank you to all who have financially supported the ministries of TFW. It is a HUGE encouragement to those of us who daily work to realize the vision but it is also a huge investment in the spiritual health of this community!
6. I will NEVER forget that evening. Your faces are forever in my mind! I love you each and all. I thank God for allowing me to know you and serve together with you. At the end of the evening, Emma was walking me to my car and she asked me what perfume I had on because it smelled so nice. You know what? All night long as I hugged and was hugged by each one of you, I breathed in your essence and your sweet aroma was left behind. By the end of the evening what was left was a mixture of all of you and it was a wonderful fragrance. Precious ones, this will PREACH!
7. So to all who were there on Saturday night and all those who couldn't come but shared they wish they could be there - thank YOU. You see, what it really speaks to my heart is that you too see the vision, you understand the mission and you support the work of this ministry. WOW.

Whatever I did, whatever you think I accomplished - all glory and honor goes to God. He is the one who saved me, changed me, decided to allow me to be a part of anything He wanted to do, then gave me what I'd need to do it! God used me because I was willing and because I committed myself to Him and what He was put on my heart to do for Him. I've spend the last 9 years on my face before Him waiting for "how to." In fact, most days were started with this statement: "God if you can use a donkey, you can use me."

...but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

Taking diligent heed

2009-01-28T04:33:00.005-05:00

One of my favorite Precept Upon Precept (PUP) Bible studies was on the book of Joshua. Go figure! Who knew it contained such practical and applicable tips for living? Oh, the Word of God has treasures to be mined! But think about it. Here God's people were going into the land that God had promised them. A land of milk and honey - yes! But also a land with giants, gods and hostile to God. I love the sub-title given to this PUP study. It was something like "possessing your possessions" or "learning to possess your possessions." Here on this earth, if I am ever going to possess what is mine in Christ Jesus, then practical and applicable tips are certainly needed! One of the "tips" that pricked my heart then and now is Joshua 23:11. It says: "... take diligent heed to yourselves to love the Lord your God." Okay. So, what does diligent heed look like?

We used to live in a house that was built in the late 1800's. One of the previous owners had planted gardens and I became passionate about gardening. But, beautiful gardens don't just happen. No, they take a lot of work! Each week I would spend hours and hours weeding, watering, feeding and tending those gardens. Each season certain things would have to be done to prepare the gardens for the next season. It was only a few months each year when the snow was on the ground that I didn't need to HEED those gardens. If I didn't "take heed" on a regular basis those gardens could get out of hand very quickly. During the growing season? Forget about it. I would have to "take diligent heed. " God has once again reminded me that I need to take that same diligent heed of myself - of my heart. If I don't the things of this world will come in a crowd out and choke my love of the Lord. Doesn't it seem strange that I would have to weed, water, feed and tend after my heart like that in order to love the Lord my God? With as glorious as He is and after all He has done for me, you would think it be natural to love God with all of my heart. No so. In fact, God says that when I stop giving heed to the Lord that's exactly when I start playing the harlot (Hosea 4:10).

Yes, I finally finished my PUP study of Hosea. God has used the truths from Hosea to remind me of just how easily I can forget Him. God says this in Hosea 13:6: "As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud; Therefore they forgot Me." You know why I gave up gardening? I lost my passion for it. I no longer wanted to spend the hours necessary to take diligent heed of gardens. Compared to other things that came into my life, gardening lost its value. Actually, I gave up gardening to spend more time with and serving God. But, I have to wonder. Could I give up God that easily? Unless I take diligent heed I know I could - I know I have.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. “Then it shall come about when the Lord your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build, and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied, then watch yourself, that you do not forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. Deuteronomy 6:5-12

His eye is on the sparrow

2009-01-25T12:03:00.008-05:00

Part of being in God's boot camp is being told "how to" and then given a chance "to do". You know what I mean? Let me explain it this way. As I left last Saturday's seminar, I was armed with truths that I have had to "take up" often this week. Here's how my week played out.... When I got up Sunday morning, it was to an awful sore throat. I immediately started begging God for relief while at the same time taking Air Bourne, Ziacam and Dayquill/Nyquill! You see, as a part of my new job responsibility with Precept Ministries, I was scheduled to fly to Dayton, OH on Wednesday where I would join Kay, Jack & David Arthur at the Call2All Conference. In order to catch my 6 AM flight, I set my alarm for 3:30 AM. At this point, let me just say that I stepped out in faith believing God would give me the grace to make it because I knew my body was not cooperating. My husband had told me that Kay was not feeling well and had almost no voice. So, Miss Kay was my example to follow! I arrived in Dayton mid-day and was told they had a room ready. HALLELUJAH! I checked in, got unpacked, set up my computer, had two phone meetings and tried to get some work done. Honestly, though I think when I look on Monday morning, I'll have to redo anything I think I did. It was probably mid-afternoon when in my mind I began to whine before the Lord. By 5:30 PM, I gave up trying to accomplish anything and determined in my mind that there was no way I was going to be able to do my job! I whined to my husband, a dear friend and on Facebook and knew I had dear friends praying for me! Around 6:30 PM the Arthur's called saying they had arrived and that Kay was feeling awful and had no voice. As I prayed for Kay, I trusted that God had brought her to Dayton, had a message that He had for her to give and would give her the grace she would need to make it. I went to bed early reminding myself who am I to whine, focus on Miss Kay, the goal of the trip that God knows...

When my alarm went off at 6 AM on Thursday morning, my first thought was "Thank you Jesus!" My teeth didn't hurt. In fact, I had no pain in my forehead or cheeks either. While I still had a lot of congestion, I felt like I could make it! In fact, when I fell into bed at almost 1 AM on Friday morning, I had made it! Thanks be to God, I managed to serve with joy, energy, strength and very little nose blowing. God gave Kay voice enough to passionately speak the Word of God at two sessions (almost 1,000 people). So why am I going into such detail? Because God was speaking volumes into my heart. You see, all day long I was marveling at how God was providing. I was reminded that He doesn't remove the hurdles and difficulties but as we step out in faith and obedience He gives us the grace we need to make it THROUGH!

When my alarm went off on Friday morning, I hadn't allowed for quiet time with the Lord. Instead, I had to get dressed, packed and downstairs so I could catch my ride to the airport. But, as God would have it, I finished a little early and had time to sit with a cup of coffee before the Lord. I walked over to the window and pulled back the blackout shade to find the most glorious sunrise. "Oh, thank You God for drawing me to this window at just this time so You could show me Your glory. You are glorious - this is glorious and I stand in awe of YOU." It was such an awesome touch and reminder from the Lord Himself that He is ever present, all sufficient, and personally involved in my life. He wanted me to see that and He wanted me to enjoy it with Him and He wanted me to be aware of His presence in EVERY detail of my life. God is amazing. But that's not all!

When I got to Cincinnati for my plane change my ears were killing me, my nose running like a faucet and once again I felt like I'd have to die to feel better. I decided to seek relief and comfort in a cup of hot tea. The terminal had lots of glass and metal beams. As I approached a water fountain I saw a sparrow fly down, land on the edge of the water fountain in search of some beads of water. I was captivated. I tried to capture the moment with my camera but by the time I got it out someone else walked by and the sparrow flew back to one of the metal beams. In that short 1 to 2 minutes God preached a sermon into my heart! Yes, it was based on Luke 12:6-8 and yet God also showed me how adaptable that little sparrow was to his surroundings and trusting of God to provide. The Scripture and the song below immediately came to mind! OH GOD, I LOVE YOU AND I THANK YOU FOR REDEEMING ME AND CALLING ME YOURS!

Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. “And I say to you, everyone who confesses Me before men, the Son of Man will confess him also before the angels of God. Luke 12:6-8

God's army

2009-01-18T17:32:00.003-05:00

I spoke truths at a seminar yesterday that I need to be reminded of OFTEN. One truth that I seem to so easily forget is that in this world, I WILL have troubles (John 8:44) and so I shouldn't go around acting as though some strange thing is happening to me when troubles and trials come (1 Peter 4:12). Really, it's a miracle of God that anything good happens in this world. I mean, after all, the ruler of this world is our adversary, the devil, who prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking to devour us, our families, marriages, children, churches, and communities (1 Peter 5:8). Boy, it is SO important for me to remember where I am (the world) and to stop and get God's perspective on my troubles and trials. Joseph understood that even though what happened to him was meant for evil - God meant it for good in order to bring about His results and to preserve many people alive (Genesis 50:20). I pray God will help me keep this same perspective - no matter what!

The other truth that I need to remember is that everyday, there is a spiritual battle raging. Far too many years I pursued the things of the world rather than the things of God. Fight? Hardly. Because I didn't join the fight, I'm part of the reason truth literally stumbled in the streets. Much ground has been lost. I shared with the ladies yesterday some facts I found on at todaysmilitary.com re boot camp basic training and combat training that I think relate to being in God's army. It says: "Basic training prepares recruits for all elements of service: physical, mental, and emotional. It gives people the basic tools necessary to perform the roles that will be asked of them for the duration of their tour." Yep, this will preach! This is exactly how God intends to use the various troubles and trials that come my way! It goes on to say: "combat training is a journey of self discovery...discovering inner strength and learning valuable skills that will help them succeed as soldiers in the army and in life." Preach it some more! God has certainly used the troubles and trials in my life to help me to discover HIS strength as well as teach me valuable skills that ARE helping me to succeed as a soldier in His army. Oh, how I need to remember that life here is not about me, my comfort, my anything. It's about Him and advancing HIS kingdom. No longer do I want to play the role of the harlot princess pursuing the "good life" and the riches of this world or who whines and complains and wishes she were anywhere other than where God has her. That me didn't even know she'd been recruited into God's army - let alone boot camp. I'm embarrassed that I can say I totally get where Goldie Hawn is coming from in the below scene from "Private Benjamin." No more....I'm mobilizing for war! How about you (whoever is reading this)? Are you in or are you out?

One little dog

2009-01-13T18:16:00.003-05:00

In 2006, my parents moved up here from Georgia. It was a major lifestyle change and move for them. Rarely do "southerners" move north (especially at the age of 86)! Plus, they sold practically everything they owned, moved in with us and gave up most of their independence. With them came the cutest little black toy poodle named Chipper. It seems that on a January morning 1.5 years earlier, my mother said: "I want a puppy." Within days, daddy presented mother with her puppy. The fact that my daddy lived to please my mother is a blog for another day.

During my parent's packing and preparation to move up to PA, it became obvious that something was going on with my mother. Because she had grown more and more fragile during her 80's we wondered if the move wasn't just too much for her. It was much more than that. Within a week of their arrival, we had mother in the hospital were she was diagnosed with brain cancer. We brought her home and were able to keep her here until the angels came for her three months later.

In Georgia, Chipper he had been an "only child." At first in PA, he seemed to enjoy his new home and new "sibling." But, as mother got worse, he grew more anxious. He hated the wheelchair the moment it arrived and would yip and bite the wheels. Eventually, we'd have to kick him out of the room or bathroom because he would pitch such fits. I'm pretty certain this is when Chipper started to dislike me. It was at this point that Chipper's goal in life and full time job became protecting my parents from ME. I would walk in the room and he would growl. Every chance he would get he'd charge me. Let me tell you....little 6.5 dogs have a LOT sharp teeth. After mother died, he got even more protective of my daddy. Now, if Chipper hears me move in the house he gets testy. If I approach my father, he charges. If I attempt to enter daddy's "space" - forget about it. Chipper goes balistic. He hates me. His daily dose of prosac helps a little. But, his behaviorlist said he'd rather die than submit to me. Because my daddy is legally blind, I do a lot of things for him and so have to interact with him often during the day. Each time, it's a battle with Chipper.

So, what's my point? One little dog has been used by God to show me that I am not at all the person I thought I was.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (James 1:22-27)

God is my confidence

2009-01-07T17:48:00.003-05:00

I wrote the below on Sunday night after arriving in Chattanooga. It is now Wednesday and I leave in the morning to fly back to Easton. I decided to share the below so I could testify that God has been so faithful to me this week. I've met some wonderful people, learned many new things and need to learn many more! But, God has given me strength, energy, a listening ear and His ear! I am now filled with excitement at the things He is putting on my heart to do for Him via Precept Ministries. Be encouraged!

January 4, 2007
It seems like just yesterday that Tom drove from Chattanooga to Easton for the holidays. But, it couldn’t have been yesterday because that’s when we left Easton to drive to Chattanooga! We got as far as Bristol, VA last night and then finished up the drive today arriving in Chattanooga early afternoon.

I have my first meetings at Precept Ministries starting tomorrow morning on continuing on through Wednesday. As we were driving today, I began to see signs for Chattanooga. And, the weirdest thing started to happen. I wanted to cry. Then, I grew terrified. I was even filled with dread. My mind started racing and I found myself emotionally reacting to my thoughts. I was startled! I literally felt assaulted and I started praying. “Lord, where did these thoughts come from? Lord, what is this emotion? What is going on here?” I immediately began speaking truth to myself and I would feel stronger until assaulted with another round of thoughts followed by a range of emotions. I arrived in Chattanooga exhausted!

Tom’s temporary home is a cozy apartment that is attached to the dorms. We unpacked and walked over to his office so I could see it and so he could drop off some things. His office is in a building I have entered many times. Only this time it was VERY different. Always before, I was entering to attend a conference. As we got closer to the building, the memories were like a slide show in my mind and at the end of the show one word stuck in my mind: Life changing. Here, I have experienced dramatic life change. This time, I’m not entering the doors to attend a conference, but to work and serve. Again, I found myself on the verge of tears. But this time, I understood my thoughts and emotions.

The next thing I knew, I was teetering on the verge of despair or maybe it was discouragement. But, why? Where did that come from? Everything in me wanted to curl up in a ball and go to bed for at least a long nap. But, wait a minute…everything in me wanted to jump for joy, shout to the mountain tops, slow the experience down so I could savor it. So which is the real me? Both! I think my flesh wants to rob my spirit. A work in progress….

For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth. By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You. Psalm 71:5-6

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

Painting pictures of Eqypt

2008-12-27T16:55:00.007-05:00

I don't want you to think that I obsess about "playing the harlot" 365 days a year. But, I'm still studying the book of Hosea so what can I say? The truths from this precious book leave me scratching my head. How could God's people EVER want to return to Eygpt? How could they turn and keep turning from a God who loves them so much and went to such great lenghts to save them? Why would they want what Egypt has to offer when the Almighty God has promised them so very much? The truths from Hosea also hit home. I know I have done and am capable of doing the very same thing. I can quickly and easily begin to "paint picture of Egypt in my mind." Reminds me of a song by Sara Groves (see below).

Maybe it's not such a bad thing to remember the days (actually years) I played the harlot. Maybe in remembering, I'll never return to Egypt (so to speak). Oh, God forbid. As I read through chapter 11 of Hosea today, I was struck with the emotions expressed by the Almighty God. He says things like..."I took them in My arms, I bent down, How can I give you up, How can I surrender you, My heart is turned over within Me, my compassions are kindled." He says all of this in the context of their turning from Him and to Egypt. WOW. My human mind has a hard time grasping God's love. But, the truths from Hosea assure me that God's covenant of love with me will NEVER let me go. Double WOW.

Jeremiah 31:3 is true and I CAN personalize it. So can you! "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness."

Just because

2008-12-23T05:01:00.005-05:00

I love the snow and Friday it snowed most of the day. Big beautiful flakes! At times it was snowing so hard you couldn't see very far into the distance at all. Although I was working most of the day, I took time to stop, look out and marvel. During these times, itwas almost as though I could hear God speaking into my heart: Look child, this snow came from My storehouses. This day, I have said to the snow - fall on the earth! (Job 37:6; 38:22). And, I could hear my own spirit responding: You are my Father God and only You alone can do such things. These are WOW moments. Times to marvel at His awesomeness, majesty, splendor, power and might. And, breathe in the TRUTH that God is my Father. He, the Almighty God, loves me. He planned for me, created me, saved me and even now is transforming me into the image of His Son, Jesus. Why? Ephesians 1:5 says that my Father God adopted me "according to the kind intention of His will." In other words, just because He wanted to! It's amazing.

Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet,They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool."(Isaiah 1:18)

Tom's home!

2008-12-21T17:30:00.005-05:00

Tom left Chattanooga last Thursday morning and arrived here in time for dinner that evening! As a token of my love and "welcome home honey," I made his favorite comfort foods: meatloaf and his mom's recipe for macaroni & cheese.

It has been wonderful having Tom close. Friday it snowed all day and he worked from the office here at home. Normally his talking on the phone and "doing business from home" would be a huge distraction for me in my own work, but sharing the space with him on Friday was wonderful! Even though we had to go in separate cars this morning because he was teaching the new comers class during third service, it was wonderful sitting together in church, singing together and listening to the word of God together! He came home with a bad cold and cough but even these sounds (especially at night) don't bother me. They are a wonderful reminder that he's here - next to me. Yes, absence has made the heart grow fonder!

I thank God for Tom and these moments we have together. God has given to me the awesome privilege of being Tom's wife. God has declared me Tom's helper suitable. WOW! I acknowledge that only God knows how I can be a help and only God can give me the ability to be a helper. Amen? But, I am so grateful for the opportunity to try and keep trying! I've learned so much from Tom. God has gifted him with leadership skills and abilities and with a deep and genuine love for people. It's a beautiful thing to watch! This makes the times we are apart a little easier because I know he's doing what God has created him to do and he's doing it for God's glory. For almost 7 years, I prayed that God would (1) Put Tom in a place where he could wake up every morning knowing that he was created for that moment. That, with every fiber of his being, he would understand that God had used all of his life experiences to bring him to that very moment and that God had created him to accomplish the work set before him; (2) Find male friends who loved God's Word, were passionate and committed to the study of God's Word and who would challenge him in his faith and hold him accountable; and (3) Be given more time to study the Word of God inductively.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine God would call him to Precept Ministries - the inductive Bible study people. Honestly, how can I even take credit for the prayers prayed? God surely put them on my heart knowing what He was going to do. Tom's loving his new job. And this, blesses my heart. It will also warm my heart while we are apart during the winter days to come.

Thank you God for Tom. Fill him to the fullness of You! Strengthen, empower and enable him to further Your kingdom. Continue to give him a passion and a hunger for your Word, a love for your people, and a willingness to lead forward for Your great name sake and glory- no matter what. All glory, honor and praise to You. In Jesus Name - Amen!

The spirit is willing but the flesh got overwhelmed!

2008-12-15T05:11:00.004-05:00

Was it only 5 days ago that 37 precious women came to Christ? Boy, it seems like a long time since last Tuesday! Did I mention I caught a cold while on my way to Kenosha? Praise be to God, He kept me from coughing or having to blow my nose while sharing the gospel but the trip home the next day was miserable. And, I crawled into my own bed that night with a 101 fever. As they say though - no rest for the weary. There was work to get caught up on, wash to be done, mail to sort and meals to cook (or pizza delivered). Do you see me headed for a pity party? Oh yes! And, let me just add that I miss my husband terribly and the housing market is all but dead. Careful, all this makes one vulnerable and easy prey.

On the night before His death, Jesus went to the garden to pray and He took the disciples with Him. He went to pray and came back to find them asleep. They couldn't even stay alert for one hour! And, I'm reminded of what Jesus said to them..."Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). But, they fell asleep again...and again.

I kind of feel like that's what happened to me this week. I fell asleep on Jesus. I couldn't stay alert for even one hour! There's nothing like falling asleep to remind you of just how weak you are in the flesh and why it is so very important it is to stay alert, keep watch and pray...or be prey! I'm not sure I will ever truly comprehend why God bothers with me. Truth is, He not only bothers with me, but He lavishes me with His grace. And, it is in His grace that I stand.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. (Ephesians 1:7-8(a))

The gospel of Jesus Christ

2008-12-11T19:00:00.012-05:00

My time in Kenosha, WI was wonderful. My dear friend Sharon went with me and I especially enjoyed by time with her! It was wonderful seeing the Carlson's, staying in their home, visiting their church and getting caught up on what God has been doing in and through their lives the past several years. There was snow on the ground when we arrived and even more when we left. It was truly a winter wonderland!

On Tuesday evening, I was beyond blessed as 37 women responded to the gospel message. I LOVE it when people come to Christ. I long for it. I remember several years ago having the privilege of attending the "last" Billy Graham crusade held in NYC. I couldn't wait until the end to see with my very own eyes the people who would surely flood the aisles. And flood the aisles they did. I cried! People had been praying for years for this crusade. Churches had been planning where to have it, how to get others involved in the promoting and how to follow up with those who would come to Christ during the event. Even more important were the strategies put into place to insure that everyone had opportunity to hear about and attend the crusade. I share this because I love the way the organizers of the Billy Graham crusades anticipate that people WILL come to Christ in response to the gospel message! All this just makes me want to be more deliberate in sharing the gospel message. Oh yes...I long to see people come to Christ. Don't you? It is awe inspiring! It is thrilling to see the power of God at work! And even more amazing is that God let's us participate. I mean we can plan the event, invite others to attend, share the message and/or disciple. Does it get better than this?

I thank God for my salvation! For I her who was not beloved but now am beloved of God. WOW. For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes...(Romans 1:16). I thank God for the opportunity to share in Kenosha and I pray for more and more opportunities to share this most precious truth in anticipation that others WILL come to Christ.

Bound for Kenosha, WI

2008-12-05T16:45:00.007-05:00

I am so excited about my trip to Kenosha, WI. This is where our pastor of 10 years, his wife and youngest daughter now live. My husband was suppose to go with me, but it turns out the PMI board meets next week. So, my dear friend Sharon is going with me. We leave tomorrow, will visit Kenosha Bible Church on Sunday, and on Tuesday evening I have the joy of sharing at their annual Christmas Tables. Just look at the pictures from last year! It's a wonderful community outreach.

The theme for the evening this year is "An Enchanting Christmas." Me, being the dreamer that I am - I'm all about being enchanted. I even had a boutique once called Enchantments! Thrilling to me is that I know God will enchant these precious women through His Word for He has already done so to me as I've prepared. I think over 400 will be attending and so I'm expecting God to draw hundreds to Himself through His Son Jesus. Dreamer? No way!

I'll be playing a very special song at the end. It can be found at: http://www.bluemyrtle.com/. On the right side, scroll down to "May I Have This Dance." Grab your tissues and prepare to worship (bow down and throw kisses upward).

OMG

2008-12-05T05:10:00.008-05:00

OMG is texting shorthand for oh my God. I know it's a vain and empty use of God's name, but everytime I see it I think how often during the course of a single day I cry out "oh my God." During the past 9 years, God has SO often used the book of Nehemiah to guide me, teach me, inspire me and challenge me. One of the things I have learned and loved about Nehemiah is no matter what - he kept putting His trust or confidence in God! Interestingly OMG is found in Nehemiah 6 times! Here, there is no vain or empty use of God's name but a personal cry to a God that Nehemiah knows intimately. Isn't that amazing? I am absolutely awe struck with the fact that the Creator of all things wants me to have an intimate and personal relationship with Him. My God is awesome. My God is majestic. Oh how majestic is His name in all the earth. There is none like my God. Did you know that He calls the stars out each night and knows each one of them by name? Or that even the lightning bolts report in to Him and say "here we are." My God knows everything about me for He created me for Himself and then He redeemed me with His very own blood. I am His and He is mine. Oh my God...

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. Psalm 86:12

That my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:12

I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." Psalm 31:14

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Psalm 146:2

Boy, do I have issues!

2008-12-02T06:00:00.004-05:00

Once I was in the hospital in NYC and my roomate was Gladys First. I think Miss Gladys was probably in her 90's and she kept telling stories. She would always start them by saying "When I was Gladys First, I would walk down 5th Avenue in my fur coat." Or, "When I was Gladys First" and on she would go about what she would do. My sister and I thought that was so odd and kind of funny. Finally though - years later - we get it. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder who that person is looking back at me. Where did Sally Hall go? Yep, now I talk about when I was Sally Hall and think of Miss Gladys everytime. I have issues and I'm not talking about my graying hair, aging skin or apple shape. Those issues are nothing compared to the issues way down deep in my heart. God has been true to His Word in that He has been searching my heart, certainly knows my heart and has been trying me with the everyday pressures of life. There are things in my heart I don't understand. There are things in my heart that only God can change.

I could have sworn there was a verse in the Bible that said out of the heart flow the issues of life. But, I can't find it anywhere. When I was Sally Hall, I didn't get my verses mixed up together. Now, I just have to go to my wonderful Bible program. But it can't find it either. My point is - out of my heart flows my "issues." You know what I mean? How I thank God that He promises to finish the good work that He has began in me! I know that as I continue to surrender and submit to Jesus, my Lord - He will help me work through my issues. The sooner the better. And to that I'm sure my family would say hallelujah! I'm learning in a new way the importantance of watching over my heart with all diligence. Any tips?

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T11:22:00.005-05:00

My heart is full this morning. I have so many reasons to thank God. As I sit here and list them in my mind, the tears just flow! I don't really understand why God would so graciously choose to save me, change me and allow me to be a part of anything He wants to do. Or, why God would leave heaven, come to earth, confine Himself to a body of flesh, live as a human and be tempted and faced with all it means to live in a body of flesh, die a horrible, painful and humiliating death in order to pay my sin debt. It's more than I can get my human mind around. Why Jesus - God in flesh - would do all that for me so that I could have forgiveness of my sins and so that I would never, ever be separated from God the Father is beyond my human comprehension. Then, He puts His Holy Spirit within me and opens the eyes of my heart so that I might understand His Word, learn great and mighty things about Him. Oh my...it's a wonder. And, He begins changing my heart and sharing His heart with me. As He does, the desires of my heart change and this absolutely blows me away.

Oh, I know this is a national holiday. And, I am very thankful to be living in the United States of America. God chose not to make me a Bedouin woman but an American woman. I have so many freedoms. I am absolutely FREE to fulfill my purpose as stated in 1 Peter 2:9-10. It says: But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. As one who has received mercy, I have absolute freedom to proclaim His excellencies. At least for today. Our nation's thinking concerning God and His Word is very much different than it was on that first celebration of thanksgiving.

I am SO thankful for God's Word. The Bible contains the very words of God. Oh, this truth causes me to want to hug it and open it and breathe in the very essence of God Himself. He is the One that had them recorded and has preserved them through the ages. God created me and brought me into existence during a time when I can freely open His Word, read it in so many different translations, and have incredible study tools at my disposal that allow me to dig deep. The word "thankful" doesn't seem a big enough word to describe the emotion within me.

I am so thankful for all that God has done for me and given to me that I must stand with God and what He says in His Word. I must not only proclaim His excellencies, but I must proclaim His Word as absolute truth. If my thinking and my choices do not line up with His Word then that means my thinking and my choices line up with lies. Doesn't that makes me an enemy of God and a friend of the evil one who is the author of lies?

I am thrilled that I live in a time when it is has become possible for a black american to become President of the United States. But, I am deeply saddened that this man who identifies himself as a Christian stands and votes against absolute truth. I am further saddened that many Christians I know also stood against truth. I don't understand. What truths am I talking about? The truths that our President Elect and majority of Americans:
-Do not support the federal defense of marriage act (traditional marriage between one man and one woman).
-Support cloning
-Support cirriculum that promotes homosexuality
-Support abortion
-Do not support the protecting of lives of children when are born alive and survive a botched abortion
-Support laws enforcing businesses to favor homosexuality
-Support gay pride celebrations
-Support transporting minor girls across state lines for a secret abortion without parental knowledge
-Support partial birth abortions
-Do not support traditional marriage in states

Do you think God's heart breaks? Am I willing to allow God to break my heart with the things that break His heart? Your stand and my stand for absolute truth could be costly. But, we must remember that we are not our own - we have been bought with a price. That price cost Jesus His life and bought our freedom from the penalty of sin, the power of sin and some day from the presence of sin. Do you stand on the absolute truth of God's Word with me?

You can't fix me!

2008-11-23T14:12:00.008-05:00

Pastor Tim had another great sermon this morning. He reminded us using Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 of just how much we need brothers and sisters in Christ and yet how often we close our hearts to others. His point was, if we are going to live this Christian life, we need each other. Otherwise when we fall, who will be there to help and lift us up? Well, I'm prone to fall and I wonder: don't you get tired of helping me get up? Seriously - the real me....the me God sees - can you really handle that me? Don't you want to judge me, reject me, preach at me and try and "fix me?" No, you help and lift me up.

Some days life just hurts and all I want is to hear your voice and have you put your arms around me, listen to me and just be there with me. Some days the situations and circumstances of life are overwhelming. It doesn't mean I've gone spiritually brain dead and don't know God's perspective on my situations and circumstances. It doesn't mean that I'm not clinging to the promises of God or unable to speak those promises back to myself. It just means I need to release the raw emotions of living life in this world. You don't try and "fix me." You just help me and lift me up.

Still there are other days, when I actually do go spritiually brain dead. When truth seems to escape me and I'm spiritually confused and cannot seem to think straight. It's then I need my friend who knows me well - knows who I want to be and loves me enough to tell me in (a VERY gracious and loving way) that my behavior doesn't line up with who I say I am and who I want to be. The key here is "knows me well and loves me enough." Ah, that means I had to have opened my heart to someone, allowed them to get to know me - all aspects of me! It means I took a chance they may be appalled at what they saw and reject me rather than love me! Scary isn't it? Well, not when you consider the alternative. Living life alone. I say we take 100 chances and we keep opening our hearts, sharing our hearts until we find those precious ones who know us well and love us enough. Brothers and sisters who will help and lift us up so we can live and walk in a manner worthy of our Lord.

For all the times I've fallen....for all the times I've exposed my wretched heart - thank you for not trying to "fix me!" Thank you for helping me up and for graciously and lovingly reminding me of truth when I've gone spiritually brain dead. Thank you for lifting me up in such a way as to restore me so that I can walk in a manner worthy of my Lord. Thank you for investing in my life in such a way that I am known and well loved by you. You know exactly who you are and you are a gift from God to me.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Feelings

2008-11-22T11:34:00.009-05:00

For so many years, what I felt became my truth. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but if I felt alone then that became the truth I believed. Believing I was alone impacted how I acted or behaved. Since my husband's job required that he do a lot of traveling (309 days the first year of our marriage) and because I have lived hundreds of miles from my family for most of my marriage, I have felt alone - A LOT. Feeling alone has caused me to cry and feel sorry for myself. Because I didn't like being alone (and it's always about me), I would feel frustrated, anxious and eventually angry at my husband for leaving me alone so much. Feelings of anger would cause me to try to manipulate him, other people or situations. I would take up hobbies, bad habits and the pursue the things of the world just so I didn't have to feel so lonely and worthless. Yes, worthless. You see, being left alone a lot must have meant I was worthless, unlovable, and so on. I also felt forgotten and abandoned by God. Yep, what I felt became my truth.

While my husband is flying in today (hallelujah), he'll be leaving after Thanksgiving and I won't see him again until Christmas. I miss him! And, having him gone just brings up all those old feelings. Here I am all alone again. There he goes starting a new adventure again - without me (we've moved 6 times and he's always gone ahead). Today, I'm also struggling with some new feelings. But you know what? I can actually take up the WORD of God - which is absolute TRUTH and use it to sort through my feelings. It's awesome and I am so grateful to God for this change in me.

The TRUTH is certainly not what I feel. In fact, rarely does what I feel even line up with the word of God. Amen? The Word of God is absolute truth. What God says is MY reality even if it flies in the face of what I feel and can see.

Right here, right now - I am exactly where God wants me and my husband to be. The economy doesn't surprise God. Our being separated doesn't surprise God. God knows exactly when (of if) our house will sell. God even knows when we'll move and where we will live next. Isn't that amazing? Isn't God awesome? He is in control and to that I shout glory be to God and hallelujah! The truth is: This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Frankly my dear, I'm afraid!

2008-11-19T05:32:00.007-05:00

Stepping out - walking by faith not sight?

The for sale sign is finally up. Sunday at church, the pastor and elders prayed with us, blessed us, loved on us and kind of said goodbye to us. Tom left Monday to head back down to Tennessee to work. He'll be back here for Thanksgiving, return to TN and then back for Christmas/New Year’s. As I shared earlier, I'm in that betwixt and between place in my life. I know God is calling me out of Truth for Women. Things are moving forward there without me and that's both thrilling and....I'm not sure what this is I "feel." This past weekend, I got a glimpse of how God might be leading me next. But I can't quite visualize it yet. I’m sitting here this week with things to do but I'm here and the folks I'm working with and for are there. And, I have a million who, what, where, when, why and how questions! Frankly my dear, I’m afraid.

In my crying out to God, He's reminded me that I haven't known what I was doing for years, but He has been faithful to give me what I've needed to accomplish the things He was calling me to accomplish. During my time at Truth for Women, God used the book of Nehemiah to help and guide me. I'm reminded of just how often I have found myself in a place where I've "felt" overwhelmed, discouraged and afraid. I learned from Nehemiah that the cure for fear is to remember God who is great and awesome.

Frankly my dear, it’s normal to be afraid. The thing is I just can’t stay afraid or I’ll never step out and accomplish what God has planned for me to do next. REMEMBERING GOD WHO IS GREAT AND AWESOME!

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3

Hershey "High"

2008-11-16T20:17:00.014-05:00

Did you know that when you get within a mile or so of Hershey, PA you can actually smell chocolate? Upon arriving at the Hershey Lodge last Thursday, I was given a Hershey chocolate bar and it seemed that everywhere I turned chocolate appeared. 4 kisses on the night stand each evening, a chocolate bar on the morning tray with my oatmeal, and a box of almond Hershey bars as a welcome! The bathroom soap smelled of chocolate and even the sheets had Hershey kiss designs on them! But, my "high" wasn't from all the chocolate. It was from from being in a room of 3,000+ women who were hungry for the word of God and where over 150 accepted Christ. SWEET!

A couple of weeks ago I started studying Hosea with a kindred spirit. So, passages from Hosea and my recent "Playing the harlot" blogs were fresh on my heart when I arrived in chocolate world. And, God decided to use the weekend to even dig deeper into my heart. No, not by testing me with so much chocolate, but by using His word!

Kay Arthur started her first session with declaring truth had stumbled in the streets (Isaiah 59:14-20). My role for the weekend was to stay close to her side, take notes, learn and assist her in anyway I could. When she "stumbled" across the stage she got every one's attention and I almost had a heart attack. Then, I realized she was illustrating this verse! Truth HAS stumbled in the streets and truth is lacking. From there she went to Hosea 4:6 and Isaiah 5:13. Both reminders that God's people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge and that we have rejected knowledge. I have resembled these verses. Each session was more powerful than the next but the verse of the weekend for me was Jeremiah 2:11-13. It says....Has a nation changed gods when they were not gods? But My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this, and shudder, be very desolate, declares the Lord. For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold not water. I don't think I'd ever seen verse 11 before. My people have changed THEIR glory for that which does not profit. Every time I play the harlot that's what I do and why oh why would I change my glory for that which does not profit? I forget what I know. I go by what I see, feel....and not by faith. God spoke such wonderful truths into my heart this weekend and I rejoice...Stepping out - walking by faith not sight!

What is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, and You crown him with glory and majesty! Psalm 8:4-5

Hershey bound

2008-11-13T10:19:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm leaving in a while to drive to Hershey, PA. Kay Arthur is speaking at the Women of Purpose conference there this weekend. The theme for this year's conference is Stepping Out. How appropriate! According to Miss Kay's trip schedule, her topic on Friday night is Guarding His Glory. Stepping Out...Walking by Faith Not by Sight. You just have to love God! Stay tuned....

Playing the harlot - Part 3

2008-11-11T20:00:00.008-05:00

If I’m not regularly in the Word of God, my thinking gets worldly real quick. When this happens, I begin to pursue the things of this world above the things of God. That’s friendship with the world or playing the harlot and this realization makes me sick. But praise be to God, His Word is alive and active and adjusts my thinking (Hebrews 4:12, Romans 12:2). God’s desire is that I am set apart or different from the world in my behavior and He does that through His Word, which is TRUTH (John 17:17). It absolutely amazes me how His Word pricks my very heart and causes an amazing transformation in my thinking and behavior. God is awesome and His Word is WOW. Now, I’m not talking about just sitting and reading the Word, okay? I’m talking about sitting with the very Word of God and allowing God through the power of His Word and His Spirit to penetrate my heart. You know, when you have a real heart to heart with someone and you share openly and honestly? It’s like that. I’m allowing God to share openly and honestly with me. And, when I hear God’s heart – I melt. I realized I was playing the harlot when I read and studied James 4:4. So what did I do? Exactly what the verses that followed told me to do!

You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:4-10

Playing the harlot - Part 2

2008-11-09T19:00:00.011-05:00

As I shared in "Playing the harlot - Part 1," I entered my 20's during the 70's when every orthodoxy about what it mean to be a woman was being challenged. The culture was being turned upside down! I was totally being shaped by the world's messages about how I should look and act, who I should become, what I should pursue, etc. Honestly? I became well-adjusted to the culture and fit right in without even thinking. Here's what Romans 12:2 says in The Message: Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix you attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

As a Christian, how could I fit right in without thinking? Because my attention was not fixed on God but on the world. I did not readily recognize what God wanted from me and quickly respond. Sure, I knew the principles of God. I knew right from wrong. I believed the Bible was the Word of God but I was totally dependent upon others to explain its meaning to me. I didn't know how to go to the Word of God for myself to understand what God wanted from me. Proper application? Hardly. I would read every Christian living book I could find on subjects relevant to my situations and circumstances. I would be touched and moved and marvel at how folks seemed to understand what God said in His Word. Who knew if they really understood! So, during this period if it sounded like truth and felt right then I embraced it as truth. More often than not what I "felt" became my truth. If it feel good, do it - right? After all, my relationship with God was all about me. All about what I wanted and needed. Of course, what I wanted and needed was based on what the world was telling me I wanted and needed.

I adopted the interests of this world as my own. I was not only being shaped by the world's way of thinking, but I was pursuing the things of the world. I was trying to live up to the world's standard for me. And, I was bringing all this into my relationship with God. When what I knew about God and what the world was telling me didn't mesh, what I "felt" won out every time. So what does any of this have to do with playing the harlot? Well, I was very, very friendly with the world. God, in His Word, says that friendship with the world is spiritual adultery. The Greek word for friendship involves the adopting of the interests of the world to be one’s own. This is what God says in James 4:4: You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. The Greek word adulteress here means one who is unfaithful toward God as an adulteress is unfaithful toward her husband. One who neglects God and their duty toward Him and yields to their own lusts and passions. Then and NOW, every time I adopt the interests of this world as my own, I'm unfaithful to God and that's playing the harlot. Every time I become friendly with the world, I yield to MY own lusts and passions. Again, that's playing the harlot.

Had I never learned how to study the Word of God for myself or taken the time to put this passage in context and understand what it means, I would have never believed or imagined that I had played or would play the harlot. I would have never see or admitted that I was friendly with the world. If the ruler of this world is satan (see "Happily Ever After"), then becoming friendly with this world means becoming friendly with the devil Himself. It means choosing to adopt the interests of the evil one above the interests of God. How could I ever become friendly with the enemy of God? It's a shocking question and this is a hard truth. One that describes me far more often than I care to admit. Why?

If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

Playing the harlot - Part 1

2008-11-07T15:15:00.010-05:00

I became a Christian as a young girl. It was easy for me to get my mind around why Jesus had to die for my sins. I recognized early that I was a sinner because I was always getting in to trouble! I had godly parents, loved going to church and hearing the stories from the Bible. I understood and accepted that the Word of God was the supreme and final authority for my faith and life. I was taught the principles of God but I did not have a deep and intimate relationship with the God of the Word because I didn't have a deep intimate relationship with the Word of God.

I had been taught that God was trustworthy, but I had not experienced His trustworthiness in my own life in a way that I knew God had come through for ME. I had not experienced God's faithfulness to ME in a way that impacted my life and deepened my faith in and intimacy with God. I knew God was everywhere, but I had never experienced His presence in my life in a way that brought deep comfort or satisfaction. You see, because I had not developed a personal and intimate relationship with God's Word, I did not know how to dig out truth for myself or how to properly apply truth to my situations and life. I was totally dependent on others to teach me, guide me, and help me. Now how frightening is that?

I was a teenager during the 60's (birth control pill, no more prayer in schools, the Beatles, Vietnam War, Civil rights, mini skirt, N.O.W., Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy assassinated, Woodstock & Hippies, moon landing). I find it very interesting that much of the way we think, act, do business and legislate TODAY is as a result of the thinking, beliefs and decisions made during the 60's and 70's. I entered womanhood during the 70's when every orthodoxy about what it meant to be a woman was being challenged. Some of the messages I heard: "I am woman hear me roar; women don't need men; women have control of their own lives and bodies,;behind every successful woman is herself;Twiggy thin is in; I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never, never, never let him forget he's a man - 'cause I'm a WOMAN; if it feels good do it." The 70's is known as the ME decade. And so during the 70's is when life became all about ME and what I wanted. At the same time all of this was going on in the WORLD, the church wavered in holding up the Word of God as the final authority of faith and life. I am NOT making excuses for myself. I'm just pointing out that this was a time when truth stumbled (so to speak; Is. 58:14) in the streets of my own life and in society in general.

Here I am, a young Christian woman who had no idea how to glean truth for myself. I knew the the principles of God, but I had limited personal experience with the God of the Word. The truths I shared with you a couple of days ago about the world? Then, I was clueless the Word of God said that. Okay, so I'm entering into womanhood at a time when our culture was being turned upside down. Can you guess who was being totally shaped by the culture?

And so I began playing the harlot. Will I tell all?

What the world calls smart, God calls stupid. It’s written in Scripture, He exposes the chicanery of the chic. 1 Corinthians 3:19(b) The Message

Happily Ever After

2008-11-05T19:00:00.007-05:00

Well, we signed all the papers last week and so the house is offically up for sale. However, we were told not to expect many lookers let alone a quick sale. In fact, I'm still waiting for the "for sale sign" to go up in the front yard. I'll be honest here...my first thought was "Lord, You couldn't have picked a worse time economically to move us. Couldn't you have called Tom into ministry a couple of years ago before the housing market took a nose dive?" Miracle of God, my thoughts returned to His Word and the truth about life here in this world. In John 16:33, Jesus assures me that in this world I WILL have tribulation (* trouble, affliction, to crush, press, compress, squeeze, to break). But, how often do I buy into the lie that I should live happily ever after in this world or at least happily most of the time? Too often I forget where I am. I forget that this world:
> Is ruled by satan (John 12:31), and
> Lies in satan’s power(1 John 5:19).

I forget the ruler of this world is:
> The devil and Satan (Revelation 20:2(a)).
> The serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world (Revelation 12:9(a).
> A murderer from the beginning…does not stand in the truth….Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).
> My adversary who prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Nope, no happily ever after in this world. How could I forget? I get distracted by all the world has to offer. Pretty things that sparkle, shine, seemingly satisfy some desire within me, and often have pointed toes, tiny little heels and a hefty price tag. Is anybody here with me? The next thing I know, I start thinking that being blessed by God means comfort, ease, happiness, good times and selling a house quickly. So, when I think like this and trouble comes, I act as though some strange thing were happening to me. "Why me? What have I done?" I forget that God in His Word tells me that He uses these troubles to test me and test my faith (1 Peter 4:12; James 1:1-4). Nope, there's no happily ever after in this world, trouble WILL come. And, as a follower of Christ, every day in this world is a test! Will I pass?

How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered! Psalm 32:1

*Greek word definition

For you have not passed this way before

2008-11-04T06:20:00.009-05:00

This past Sunday, I wrote my husband the following letter and I asked him to read it this morning - after he got into his car to begin his drive to Chattanooga, TN.

Dear Tom:
As the waistband clings to the waist of a man, so God made you to cling to HIM that you might be for Him a man for His renown, praise, and glory. So, as you embark on this great work for the Lord, I pray you will cling to God and guard your love for the Lord above all else. As God sent Joshua into the promise land to take possession of all God would give to him and to God’s people, He knew that Joshua had never done anything like that before and God would require Joshua to be totally dependent upon Him. In fact, it would require that Joshua cling to God. Joshua would need to listen, obey and be very careful “to do.” I believe the instructions given to Joshua relate to you, your calling and the days ahead. So I pray them for you and pray that these truths give you direction, strength and confidence. I have personalized the following verses and included a few key Hebrew definitions! They are from Joshua 1, 3 and 22.

> Arise and go...I have called you. No man will be able to stand against you. Just as I was with Moses (and Joshua) I will be with you and will not fail (slacken my grip on you) or forsake (loosen, relinquish) you. Be strong (to be bound fast; attached to) and courageous (alert physically, mentally) for you shall accomplish this work. Only be strong (to be bound fast; attached to) and VERY courageous (alert physically, mentally); be careful to do according to all the law...do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success (the process of thinking through a complex arrangement of thoughts resulting in wise dealings and use of good practical common sense) wherever you go. This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous (bring success) and then you will have success (the process of thinking through a complex arrangement of thoughts resulting in wise dealings and use of good practical common sense).
> Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble (dread, fear, break, be terrified) or be dismayed (shattered, broken, fall apart) for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go....go possess the ministry which the Lord your God is giving you to possess it. (1:5-9)
> ....for you have not passed this way before (3:4)
> Consecrate yourself (set yourself apart for this holy work), for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you." (3:5)
> ...but you are to cling to the Lord (22:8)
> ...take diligent heed to yourself to love the Lord your God (23:11)

I love you with all of my heart.

Betwixt and Between

2008-11-03T09:02:00.006-05:00

I love watching the Olympics and this year I especially enjoyed the relay races. God has brought those images to mind several times during these last few weeks. As Founder and President of Truth for Women (http://www.truthforwomen.org/), I had the precious joy and privilege of running the first leg of the race. Several weeks ago, my race came to an end and it was time to pass the baton. It was seized passionately and successfully and off "my girls" Jessie and Kim went. As happens in a relay race, their pace increased and mine slowed. Now, I am standing and watching them take off without me. I am filled with excitement for them, I am cheering them on in their race, and I am left wondering what I am suppose to do next.

Tomorrow my husband leaves to drive to Chattanooga, TN to begin his new adventure with the Lord as the Executive Director of Precept Ministries. Tomorrow morning, I will stand and watch him drive off. I am and will be filled with excitement for him and cheer him on in his new adventure. And, I will be left wondering what I am suppose to do next.

It's called betwixt and between. Sure, absolutely - there is a ton of stuff to do while betwixt and between. All important and necessary stuff like show and sell the house, clean out all the "accumulation," get medical records, pack up the belongings, and so on. But today as I stand in this betwixt and between place and I think of watching my husband take off without me and I see "my girls" taking off without me, old feelings and new feelings come flooding into my mind. And, I ask myself: How often have I been overwhelmed by the flood of feelings produced by the ups and downs of life? My answer: Too often!

For so many years, what I felt was my truth. Today, I understand that if what I feel does not line up with the truth from the Word of God then it's a lie straight from the pit of hell designed to discourage, destroy and/or rob me of living in the center of God's will for my life right here, right now - even in the midst of the betwixt and between. I cannot deny my feelings but I can put them into perspective - God's perspective. So, I can choose to TAKE UP the Word of God and USE it to "fight these feelings!" Will I?

Your testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors. Psalm 119:24

Roller coaster rides and other thrills...

2008-11-02T11:27:00.003-05:00

Do you remember the first time you ever rode a roller coaster? I do and it was pretty scary but when it was over it was so very thrilling! I mean, I survived! With each ride of a roller coaster, I would become more confident and eventually I sat in the front seat! As the machine creaked to the top, my heart was beating fast and oh such anticipation! Then, to increase the thrill of the ride, I raised both my arms and closed my eyes. Of course, experience had taught me that with all the straps and bar, I was secure in my seat. Therefore, I could give myself over to the adventure.

Webster's defines roller coaster this way: marked by numerous ups and downs. Life is a roller coaster, Amen? The ride often thrilling but other times frightening and uncertain and all you want is OFF! You know what though? My experience with God during these times has taught me that I am secure. Just like those straps and bars in the roller coaster, I've learned that God has His grip on me and He will not let me go. I CAN give myself over to His adventure for my life.

My husband and I are about to embark on a new "ride" with the Lord. And, I've decided to begin blogging as a way to journal the numerous ups and downs! We've never been on this "ride" before. Because of previous rides with the Lord we know it will be thrilling and that we ARE secure in our seats. But honestly, as this new ride creaks to the top our stomachs fill with butterflies. Clueless as to what lies ahead the anticipation rises. Will I raise my arms?

Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you and will not fail (*slacken my grip on you) or forsake you (*loosen, relinquish you). Joshua 1:5

*Hebrew word definition